Forgiveness with Iyanla
This Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to show yourself a little love! Continue working through the course and open your heart to all of the joy, fulfillment and peace that forgiveness brings.If you’re having a difficult time embracing self-forgiveness, look to the Lesson Four Forgiveness Prayer to help you release any unloving thoughts you may have about yourself.Download the Forgiveness Prayer

Today I ask for and open myself to receive the strength, courage and compassion required to forgive myself. I forgive myself for all perceived sins, faults, mistakes and failings. I forgive myself for every thought, belief, behavior, perception and emotion that I have told myself is bad, wrong, unjust, unloving and displeasing to You God. I forgive myself for every hurt, judgment, condemnation, unkind or unloving thought, belief and perception I have held about or against anyone. I also forgive myself for any behaviors or actions motivated by un-forgiveness. I forgive myself for every hurt, judgment, condemnation, unkind or unloving thought, belief and perception I have held about or against myself. I forgive myself for any behaviors, habits or actions motivated by an unwillingness to forgive myself. I forgive myself with compassion and love. I ask for, accept and claim God’s forgiveness. Today, believing and knowing that because I have asked, I have received, I am so grateful.

I Let It Be! And So It Is.

Thank you for allowing us to be part of your forgiveness journey.

Happy Valentine’s Day from the O Course Team!

 

Senate passes Clay Hunt SAV Act unanimously!

Anthony Pike with Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America

3. Feb. 2015 — After a year of fighting, our efforts to cast a public spotlight on veteran suicide crisis finally paid off. The U.S. Senate just minutes ago unanimously passed historic legislation named after one of our own – Marine Corps sniper Clay Hunt – that will help end the tragedy of 22 veterans dying every day by suicide.

Tens of thousands of you signed our petition. Thousands of you emailed, called, and tweeted your members of Congress. And hundreds of you showed up in person to demand that our elected officials hear your story. We couldn’t have done it without you!

Please help us spread the news, share the success, and build our community:
Share this photo on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1KozMLV
Spread the word on Twitter: http://bit.ly/1K8gr3q

The bill now heads to President Obama’s desk and we expect him to sign it soon. We’ll send another email with more news about the signing ceremony at the White House.

This victory proves that by working together can we affect national change on this scale. Invite your veteran friends to become an IAVA member at http://iava.org/#join

Thanks, and keep fighting!

Anthony Pike and IAVA

Clay Hunt SAV Act could be voted on next Monday. Please share!

Anthony Pike with Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America

31. Jan. 2015 — Your support for the Clay Hunt SAV Act is working. We’re now up to 48 sponsors in the Senate and the bill is likely to be voted on next Monday! With 22 vets dying by suicide every day we simply can’t sit in a holding pattern any longer. Please help us keep pressure on the Senate by sharing the petition today:

Tweet your support: http://bit.ly/1tGgBuJ
Share this post on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1AWY2ol

You’ve been with us since the start of this campaign. We appreciate all the calls, emails and support.

You can read more about the progress of the bill on our website: http://iava.org/press-release/clay-hunt-sav-act-gains-momentum/

Thank you,
Anthony Pike and IAVA

Senate VA Committee Approves Clay Hunt Act! Share Our Petition!

Anthony Pike with Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America

27. Jan. 2015 — Last week the Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committee unanimously approved the Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention for American Veterans (SAV) Act as its first legislative action of the 114th Congress. Now we’re headed to the full Senate and need your help.

Can you share the petition to your networks on Facebook and Twitter? We’ve made it easy — all you have to do is click the links below:

Share on Twitter: http://bit.ly/1JBA2sy
Share on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1CGlbZw

Over 30 Senators are now sponsoring the Clay Hunt SAV Act! So please continue sharing our petition so that more sign on and the Senate brings this important bill to a vote as soon as possible.

Thank you for your support!

Anthony Pike and IAVA

BC2M Logo - Horizontal Tag Line
Dear Howard,

We are incredibly excited to share our new PSA, #StrongerThanStigma, with you! Produced in partnership with Brandon Marshall’s foundation, Project 375, this campaign features four men who have each made mental health advocacy a part of his platform. These headliners are Brandon Marshall, NFL All-Pro wide receiver for the Chicago Bears; Michael Angelakos, lead singer of indietronica band Passion Pit; Wayne Brady, comedian and actor; and Ben Scrivens, NHL goalie for the Edmonton Oilers. Each shares his story, and encourages men to start the conversation and end the stigma.

For the past thirty years, the rate of suicide among men has been three to four times that of women. Traditionally, however, men have shied away from talking about their feelings because it is viewed as weak. In addition to a reluctance to seek help, men have higher levels of isolation, higher rates of drug and alcohol misuse, are at a greater risk for homelessness, display more externalized and destructive behaviors, and are more involved with the criminal justice system. Underlying many of these experiences are complex psychological problems, but we rarely empathize with their causes.

We want to erase stereotypes, create a new narrative by raising awareness of the mental health problems that men face, encourage dialogue, and promote help seeking behavior.

We hope that you will be a part of this significant opportunity to talk about the harmful and pervasive discrimination that surrounds mental illness. Please join our conversations on Facebook and Twitter, and visit our website to view and share #StrongerThanStigma, find resources, and help us end stigma.

 

Sincerely, 
Pamela Harrington 
Executive Director 

Watch the video below and then consider choosing to take another look at yourself from the inside. Remember,…we all have choices regardless of our individual circumstances. What will you choose,…for yourself…?

Howard Lovely, Jr.

 

Video Link: http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/blog/2014/10/29/look_at_yourself_after_watching_this/#.VKlngmnLeAA.gmail

 

What a fantastic way to transition / end the current year and begin the new year of 2015…! I am damn pleased with my progress…! My nervous system is holding up fantastically and my coordination of all the different movements (right to left brain communication) and breathing is starting to flow together. My swim instructors & staff have been outstanding at helping me get to this level of swimming in such a short time…!

On a another note,…this is a very personal example of the power of self-limiting beliefs that kept me from trying to learn to swim for many decades because I was told long ago that I couldn’t do it. I even took up the charge and told myself repeatedly that I couldn’t learn to swim! I would tell anyone that asked me about my ability to swim,…”I can’t swim,…I sink like a rock”. With the right learning technique applied by very well trained instructors at least 18 – 27 years my junior,…and,…an adjusted [Can-Do] attitude on my part,…I ‘m swimming as you can see in my videos! For me this is a major achievement that has profound implications in terms of what I,…or anyone else can potentially accomplish with a little shift of belief system from a state of [I can not],…to,…[I can]. My thoughts directed my actions in either case,…and my subsequent actions got me a corresponding result in either case. Whether I believe I [can not],…or whether I believe that [I can] achieve a goal,…is clearly by this example largely dictated by my belief system. In either case I can argue for or against my limitations and be validated [right],…by my end results as [proof]. Life does really continually provide opportunities for the adult version of the childhood phrase “do-over!”. I or you can give ourselves permission to choose a “do-over” belief shift at any moment,…and get a virtual instant and different result that brings us joy and fulfillment much like my swimming has done for me. In 30 – 45 days I went from I can’t swim,…to I’ll sign-up for class,…to I’m swimming…! That’s fairly instant for a 50 year old Man who waited 42 years (15,330 days excluding leap years) to experience the joy of swimming! At this point my goal is to live to age 92 or beyond,…which will give me an unguaranteed approximate 15,330 days to choose to live a life of joy and fulfillment in whatever ways possible,…no matter what! Care to join me in the challenge?!

So,…if there is something that you desire,…a goal,…a dream,…a fantastic amorous relationship, a dream job,…etc.,…now is all you or I have. So try altering your belief about any subject matter that is important to you and check to see if your actions shift toward behaviors that produce your desired result. Look for an out-come that brings joy and fulfillment into your experience of life. Happy belief-shifting! ;)

P.S. The above mentioned concept is not new and is mentioned in many Sacred Texts & Traditions / Religions around the world dating back thousands of years.

Howard Lovely, Jr.

 

This side view video was taken tonight at swim class two days before the New-Year. Enjoy!

 

In less than 90 days I’ve gone from “can’t swim”,…to swimming the full length (25 yards) of the pool…! My nervous system is holding steady and strong with the sounds of the water in my ears; additionally, my body is remaining relaxed most of the time. Swimming is a fantastic form of exercise too!

Learning to swim is my gift to myself this Holiday season…!

 

Here is my latest video taken at class this evening:

 

 

To me swimming is more than a simple recreational activity that may lead to physical fitness, boating, jet-skis, fishing, scuba-diving, accolades and trophies,…etc.,. It is a “road” to a potentially fun life and freedom on many levels for me. It is another key that I have discovered to help me unlock the maze of multiple layers of invisible gates, doors and bars that have mentally imprisoned me for many decades now. It is a tool that is allowing me to swim to the near distant shores of sanity within my mind that have always remained torturously,…just out of grasp,…much like a prisoner may have felt locked up in Alcatraz while being inadvertently teased by the lights of a thriving San Francisco just across the bay. So recently I started swim lessons simply to test my nervous system and push boundaries for myself. Ironically,…I invite you to imagine how difficult it is to walk out of the confines of a type of brutal mental purgatory and all it’s “comforts” that I’ve become used to for so many years simply because I know where the edges are. This adventure requires me to literally swim in [four feet] of deep water where there are no edges or boundaries much like the endlessness of the stars in the sky. I’m walking out of the non-brick & mortar prison and I dare to reach for any of my hearts desires simply because it’s my birthright,…while simultaneously trying not to appear awkward or inept. Since my therapist recommended that I take up my drumming once more for the right-left alternating brain exercise, I surmised that swimming might also help to accomplish the same task. To my surprise, my body is consistently remaining relaxed in the water eventhough it never has before,…and the sound of the water in and around my ears does not trigger me as I approach my 6th class this week. My right-left coordination with my arms and legs appears to be progressing favorably just like my drumming has done in recent years with complex rhythms that I had always struggled with. For a long time I knew that something was odd to say the least,…with my nervous system and my relationship with the sound of water on and within my ears. The seemingly simple sound of running water across my ears would trigger uncontrollable panic within my nervous system in the shower or in a swimming pool environment for no apparent reason ever since I was a kid. The tense muscles would in turn translate to a lack of floating ability and thus more fear,…more muscle tension and a resulting vicious cycle. Now the sound of the water over my ears appears not as amplified volume wise,…yet oddly muted and calm. Well,…for obvious possible funky reasons,…I could not avoid daily showers,…but I could refrain from attempting to swim over the past decades,…until now! I’m swimming…! The below Video clip was taken on my second day several weeks ago and will illustrate me doing a “simple” kick & glide,…however, I have progressed to adding in the arm strokes. For some reason this type of exercise seems to help my right and left side of my brain communicate better in addition to the *EMDR treatments. I look forward to further progress during the up coming weeks.

So,…for those Men & Women out there that are doing your best to overcome anything including but not limited to PTSD / Anxiety,…whether you’re single, married or otherwise in a relationship,…please consider choosing to find a way to thrive with the “Good” or “Bad” moments? Don’t give up on you! You’re worth it! Your family & Relationship is worth it! The world is better with your contribution and thriving life,…however you personally choose to define your vigorous growth & development! Consider choosing to know that,…You Deserve It!

Howard Lovely, Jr.
RockSolidPotentialLifeCoaching@gmail.com                                                                  (970)353-1180

 

*Eye-Movement-Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR)

Recently a “24” month intensely emotional, Love filled relationship with a Beautiful Woman,…inside & out,…ended. Though,…when the external [arbitrary] “flames” of discontent erupted mid-way through,…and quickly spread within what had otherwise been a fantastic union for the first year,…I was advised to turn and run for safety,…as most “sane” individuals would do. However, I chose to consistently plant my positive attitude and optimistic perspective,…daily. I chose to walk through the flames of discontent,…rather than shelter my Heart,…eventhough,…I did not understand my choice at the time,…it felt right for me. Today I know why,…”yesterday”,…I intuitively walked through “flames” with my heart wide open. I learned that it is my disappointed Ego that got scorched,…rather than my heart & love. My Loving Heart has exited the inferno unscathed,…and as tender, clean & vulnerable as a baby’s bottom after a good [should-shit]. My heart remains fully passionately open,…and ready for tomorrow’s fantastic Woman & family! Personally,…I now know,…that Love is a never-ending process that ebbs & flows in terms of personal level of connection through the “Good” or “Bad” moments daily,…rather than a singular destination. It takes [courage] and a personal [sense of worthiness] to have the [willingness] to walk through the process alone for myself,…or with a willing significant other within a pair-bound. The fact is,…we are all born worthy in my opinion,…but it is up to the individual(s) to arrive at this inherent conclusion. Maybe this is one of many points of any of us being in this existence,…that is to say,…at the end of the day,…how do you feel,…about you…? Are you connected with Love from within yourself…? Connection to Love is an individual’s personal inside job,…and once I / you connect to it,…all I / you can do is feel it and “share” it energetically,…or not. It’s your choice as an individual connector of Love.

So,…for those Men & Women out there that are doing your best to connect with love,…whether you’re single, married or otherwise in a relationship,…please consider choosing to find a way to thrive with the “Good” or “Bad” times in your relationship with yourself and your significant other? Don’t give up on you! You’re worth it! Your family & relationship is worth it! The world is better with your loving contribution and thriving love-life,…however you personally choose to define your vigorous growth & development! Your connection with Love is your personal choice,…regardless of what someone else chooses. 

Howard Lovely, Jr.
RockSolidPotentialLifeCoaching@gmail.com; (970)353-11180

Working Together for Common Ministry

Working Together

By Carole Wills, Chair, NAMI FaithNet Advisory Group

None of us has enough wisdom, resources and endurance to meet the complex needs in our world alone. In order to succeed we must join together. Only as a whole will we remain strong.

People in need all over the nation are becoming educated about mental illness due to the efforts of many NAMI leaders in-concert with NAMI Affiliates in communities across the country. They are learning about the role of our diverse faith communities in providing comfort and understanding to those affected by mental illness, and about the availability of NAMI Affiliates and the many programs and resources we offer so that people can get the help they need on their recovery journeys, including families. NAMI FaithNet serves to promote outreach to faith communities while encouraging caring congregations as well as encouraging the role of faith as a component of recovery with those for whom this is important.

NAMI has always sought strong allies with which to partner. And we have always been committed to education as key to our mission. A recent study shows that many seminaries fail to adequately train clergy members to help congregants with mental illness. This year, because most religious leaders desire more education, NAMI, through the efforts of national NAMI FaithNet leadership, is joining hands with the American Association of Pastoral Counselors and Pathways to Promise to train seminarians and clergy about mental health issues relevant to their own personal well-being and that of those they serve. The long-range plan is to tap into the resources of other local and national mental health-related organizations and offer six full-day trainings, one each semester for the three years of seminary.

On Oct. 14, 2014, these partner organizations are launching the first pilot Seminary Training Project with a full day conference in Indianapolis at Christian Theological Seminary. Central to this pilot is the educational session, Mental Health Basics for Life & Ministry: What Every Pastor Needs to Know.

The goal of the pilot training project is to raise awareness of mental health issues faced by clergy over their lifetime of ministry, to provide basic skills, models and resources to help equip emerging clergy with the information, understanding and insight they need to respond and refer their congregants affected by mental illness appropriately. Yes, we need each other!

NAMI Affiliate leaders and others who are engaged in seminary training, conferences or workshops of all faiths are encouraged to share this information, in the spirit of NAMI FaithNet. Email namifaithnet@nami.org to share and help strengthen the work and resources of NAMI FaithNet.

Brain Research through Advancing Innovative Neurotechnologies

“We have a chance to improve the lives of not just millions, but billions of people on this planet through the research that’s done in this BRAIN Initiative alone. But it’s going to require a serious effort, a sustained effort. And it’s going to require us as a country to embody and embrace that spirit of discovery that is what made America, America.”

President Obama on April 2, 2013


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The Initiative Kicks Off

In April 2013, the President announced the launch of the BRAIN (Brain Research through Advancing Innovative Neurotechnologies) Initiative – a bold, new initiative focused on revolutionizing our understanding of the human brain.

The BRAIN Initiative is one of the Administration’s “Grand Challenges” – ambitious but achievable goals that require advances in science and technology. Since the President announced the BRAIN Initiative, dozens of leading technology firms, academic institutions, scientists, and other key contributors to the field of neuroscience have answered his call and made significant commitments to advancing the initiative. Top neuroscientists also have developed a 12-year research strategy for the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to achieve the goals of the initiative.

“The human brain is the most complicated biological structure in the known universe. We’ve only just scratched the surface in understanding how it works – or, unfortunately, doesn’t quite work when disorders and disease occur… This is just the beginning of a 12-year journey and we’re excited to be starting the ride.”

Watch as President Obama speaks on the BRAIN Initiative and American innovation during the April 2, 2013 unveiling of the BRAIN Initiative.

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/slQ8ELULNP0?version=3&showinfo=0&hl=en_US

On The Clock: The BRAIN Initiative
April 2, 2013
Dr. Francis Collins, the Director of the National Institutes of Health, highlights the BRAIN Initiative.

 

The Significance

The BRAIN Initiative has the potential to do for neuroscience what the Human Genome Project did for genomics by supporting the development and application of innovative technologies that can create a dynamic understanding of brain function. It aims to help researchers uncover the mysteries of brain disorders, such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases, depression, and traumatic brain injury (TBI).

The initiative will accelerate the development and application of new technologies that will enable researchers to produce dynamic pictures of the brain that show how individual brain cells and complex neural circuits interact at the speed of thought. These technologies will open new doors to explore how the brain records, processes, uses, stores, and retrieves vast quantities of information, and shed light on the complex links between brain function and behavior.

 

How Far We’ve Already Come

In the last decade, scientists have made a number of landmark discoveries that now create the opportunity to unlock the mysteries of the brain — including the sequencing of the human genome, the development of new tools for mapping neuronal connections, the increasing resolution of imaging technologies, the maturation of nanoscience, and the rise of biological engineering.

These breakthroughs have paved the way for unprecedented collaboration and discovery across scientific fields. For instance, by combining advanced genetic and optical techniques, scientists can now use pulses of light to determine how specific cell activities in the brain affect behavior. Similarly, through the integration of neuroscience and physics, researchers can now use high-resolution imaging technologies to observe how the brain is structurally and functionally connected in living humans.

While these technological innovations have contributed substantially to our expanding knowledge of the brain, significant breakthroughs in how we treat neurological and psychiatric disease will require a new generation of tools to enable researchers to record signals from brain cells in much greater numbers and at even faster speeds. That’s where the BRAIN Initiative comes in.

Howard Eating Lunch As Celebration After Appying For PassPort  5 Sept. 2014 photo 3

This photo was taken on 5 Sept. 2014 and represents a culmination of many progressive years of work (therapy of many types including EMDR) thus far.

EMDR [Eye-Movement-Desensitization & Reprocessing]

This photo is my personal visual proof positive that the invisible “lock” can be picked,…and the translucent “cage” of PTSD can be opened,…although slowly for me,…I walked out on this day. My first EMDR treatments started in 2005 and it has taken me and my nervous system 9 years to gradually reach this glorious moment.
For the first time in nearly 17 years,…I actually went to a restaurant alone,…and ate peacefully (without muscle tension, sweats or tingly skin); I had minimal rambling thoughts (monkey-mind) or simultaneous unwanted awareness / hyper-alertness of any of the other 15 or so conversations being conducted by other patrons plus staff. It was a [proud] moment for me to say the least,…a personal best,…and I am glad that I had the forethought to ask the waitress to snap a few photos of me as personal proof. This photo has allowed me to look back and see how calm I actually appeared on my outsides,…that matched my inside feelings,…and how others may have noticed me also. From Chicago Illinois, Miami Florida, Greeley Colorado and even Winnipeg Canada,…many individuals in my circle of friends were excitedly amazed to hear about what I had done for myself! Just this morning,…my sweet “x” was still singing the praises about it all,…nearly a week and a half later! Catherine has been an amazingly [supportive] Woman in my life for the past two years; I am eternally grateful for her support, empathy and [courage] to have even dared to amorously [embrace] a Man like me and allow me to do the same for her at a time when many other wonderful Women simply would not,…no matter how honest I ever was about my life condition and mental health challenges. At age 50,…many individuals have a big party but I did not,…instead,…I received a connection from within myself,…and externally for the first time in my life via this outstanding Woman,…simply mutual Love. Talk about being a late bloomer in multiple ways! For many years I couldn’t get a basic date if my life depended on it. Ha!…Ha!…Ha! Imagine that,…all this Handsome-Man-Hunk,…and no dates,…and not for lack of asking! But Catherine,…she saw something in me beyond the PTSD veil,…and gave it a fantastic go,…and we had so much fun in spite of my personal challenges…! Could of had even more fun times now that this is happening for me.

So,…for all you Fantastic Men & Women,…single or otherwise,…out in Blog-land reading this,…don’t give up on you,…or that Internal-External-Love-Connection…!!!

My work’s not done yet.

Howard Lovely, Jr.

I have signed-up for this course as of today (11 Sept, 2014) and I invite each of you who visit my blog,… to join me on this adventure.
My personal goal is to learn to be more Forgiving of myself,… because I believe that is the core from which I can extend forgiveness outward.
See you on 26 October…!   :)
Howard Lovely, Jr. 

RockSolidPotential-Life-Coaching, LLC                   RockSolidPotentialLifeCoaching@gmail.com






Iyanla’s six-week eCourse

http://www.oprah.com/app/iyanla-forgiveness.html?utm_source=IFMLAppLanding&utm_medium=20140903&utm_campaign=1

Forgiveness…it is the key to a whole new life.

Embrace forgiveness and you can get unstuck, released, freed up and fired up. Replace anger and hurt with fulfillment and peace.

Iyanla’s six-week eCourse Forgiveness — How to Forgive Everyone for Everything — will redefine forgiveness as you know it. It will lead you to an important new path in your everyday life. You will uncover the feelings and thoughts that are holding you back. And, you will develop a new, more positive way of being in the world.

Each week Iyanla will be with you step-by-step to guide you through a new lesson in forgiveness—through custom videos, emails and interactive assignments.

The practice of forgiveness will bring you strength you never knew you had — and it just may give you the boost you need to make it to your next level of greatness.

Class Starts on October 26.

Link #1:                                                                                                                          http://getmyinspiration4life.com/blog/dont-give-up-on-you/

Link #2:                                                                                                                          http://getmyinspiration4life.com/blog/love-is-a-gift/

Please consider choosing to take the time and watch this short (8 minute) movie.
It is very profound and helpful.
As you watch,…consider the [fact] that you are good enough,… right where and as you are currently. You always have been.

Personally,…I’ve had to learn what is spoken about in this short movie and I am amazed at how differently my life continues to unfold favorably,…in most areas,…in the mist of seemingly [daunting] situation(s),…both [past] and [present].
When I look back on my life and take an accounting of my numerous achievements,…I’m pleased at myself for this reason alone. Internally,…it is a deeply satisfying feeling and knowing,…that I did not give up on me as I once did decades ago with a suicide attempt that became my rock-bottom.
My failure to kill myself out of despair,…over two decades ago,…is my bench-mark and most proud moment of “failure”. At that time in the mist of despair,…I made an optimistic attitude shift and subsequently another choice in favor of me, my worthiness and desires / goals. I repeat that basic choice everyday since,…throughout my days,…often times automatically and at others times with focused thought and questioning.
I’ve done nothing but gradually improved my life ever since,…just as this movie talks about.
I’ve retrained myself not to give-up under any circumstances,…to challenge my [assumptions], [thoughts] and [beliefs],…even when I feel “foolish” to believe in possibilities that have not materialized,…or, ideas such as deeply heartfelt LOVE,…that is intangible and immeasurable,…yet felt,…and very real.
I am often times astounded,…when to my surprise,…I walk “foolishly” through “fire” and come out mentally forged sharper than the finest steel sword known to man.
You can too,…step by step,…starting with one simple choice.
Choose again,…and again,…and again,…as needed,…everyday,…throughout your day,…and eventually it will become a habit. Additionally,…to have a special someone, Handsome-Man-Hunk, Wife, Husband, Lover, Partner, etc.,…standing with you,…in support of and in-love with you,…just-as-you-are perfect,…in the moment,…while you or either of you go through this process of growth,…is a [rare bonus gift] because usually the journey,…is an alone journey,…but,…it does not have to be if given a wonderful opportunity with a Sweet Woman.

Happy choosing! ;)

With Love,
Howard Lovely, Jr.

Link #1:                                                                                                                          http://getmyinspiration4life.com/blog/dont-give-up-on-you/

Link #2:                                                                                                                          http://getmyinspiration4life.com/blog/love-is-a-gift/

“What’s Behind The Curtain…?”

06/19/2012

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

As I started attempting to understand what I now know is,…and has been,… undiagnosed PTSD up until August of 2005,…I have discovered many painful facts about my feelings and life. One thing that seems to go back so far is the idea and experience of [abandonment]. As a child when the guns, knives and angry words would so often surface between my parents, I had no vocabulary to describe what I was feeling as I watched and listened in horror as early as eight years old and up until age 21. At that time my skin tingled furiously for 13 years during my childhood from 1972 – 1985,…a feeling like a thousand mosquitos had descended upon me all at once to suck the “life” out of me and my groin pulsed as if I were about to wet my pants most times,…but never did. My mouth became like cotton,…my ears as sharp as a bat detecting the action & sound of a gun-bolt long before my eyes gazed upon the flash,…my breath intermittent and muted,…my eyes as keen as a hawk that has zoned in on its prey (my parents) and yet my feet and some part of my mind were rapidly frozen without my willful choice,…like an opossum or mouse trying to avoid the clutches of instant death. In all this foolishness at it’s best,…I discovered abandonment. Stigma is really societies way of “abandoning” anyone for any reason. My parents abandoned good judgement, me, themselves and worst of all,…my mind abandoned my physical body and got stuck behind the curtain(PTSD),…or more of a feeling of existing somewhere in between. The “in between” feeling is what I call “Living A Strange Death”,…an eery state of being both [present] and simultaneously [absent] with full unrelenting awareness of both. I call these moments [freeze-ups] and they got me in trouble with my grade school teachers all the time for so-called “Day Dreaming”, it hurt to be accused of not paying attention over and over again and I didn’t understand why my body continued to dissociate(clinical term for freeze-ups). As a child & adult,….these freeze-ups randomly happen all the time while doing just about anything such as taking a test, driving a car or installing rivets on an aircraft which scared the mess out of me while behind the wheel or holding a rivet gun at full blast; nevertheless, I was able to maintain composure somehow. For me,…PTSD is often times so silently horrifying that I often wonder what the hell might have happened to Edgar Allen Poe,…the master of fictional horror tales minus the blood & gore. Edgar Allen Poe explored this theme of being stuck between two worlds (a world of the living & a world of the dead) in the tale of “Mr. Valdemar, (1845)”. The idea / condition of being stuck between two vivid states of mind sounds weird and impossible and yet I have painfully lived it for 40 years and still don’t fully understand the phenomenon. Ironically my own experience of existing in my body that will not / would not function properly no matter what thoughts I commanded,…drove me mad and to the brink of suicide years ago. Similarly,…being stuck in a lifeless rotting corps tormented Mr. Valdemar in Poe’s tale.

Behind the PTSD curtain you will often find interesting, intelligent, compassionate, creative, spiritual / religious, non-religious, accomplished, socially upstanding, socially competent, kind-hearted, Uncles, Dads, Moms, Brothers, Sisters, Sons, Daughters, Aunts, Husbands, Wives, Significant Others, Neighbors, a few Ass-Holes and Capable Individuals much like I think of myself…

What’s behind the curtain?,…choose to take a look,…you may be pleasantly surprised about what and who you discover.

By Marie LeBlanc on April 20, 2014

Posted in Education, Health & Safety, Science & Technology

Overlooked in disbelief, financially insecure and emotionally overcome, people with invisible disabilities remain faceless in a crowd. Many suffer in silence for fear of discrimination. Falling through the cracks of society, they are virtually impossible to spot because they look “normal.” Like a cover on a book, they are judged from the outside, yet are screaming inside for help and understanding. Awareness of invisible disabilities must be spread in order to create a just society.

An invisible disability is a hidden illness that does not require the use of visible assistive devices. People with invisible disabilities are often accused of being paranoid or faking symptoms because they “look fine.” With emotional and physical pain they struggle to keep up with society and act “normal.” The disbelief they encounter is heightened by those who fake their illnesses, discrediting those whose disabilities are all too real.

Facing hopelessness, homelessness, unequal pay, unemployment, inaccessibility to treatment and a lack of understanding from government agencies and health-care and insurance providers, people with invisible disabilities are often left on their own to survive. With everything taken away, many commit suicide as they feel there is nowhere else to turn.

A report from the Canadian Human Rights Commission recognizes that three percent of Canadians have been diagnosed with some sort of environmental sensitivity – only one of many types of invisible disabilities – and acknowledges the importance of accommodating the needs of sufferers. But due to a lack of research in the area, many people are misdiagnosed or left untreated.

Given the chance, many people suffering from invisible disabilities would prefer to work and live in a society where they are acknowledged and accepted for who they are and for their qualifications, and not excluded from society due to lack of understanding. But businesses are apprehensive to hire people who disclose their invisible disabilities due to their fear of the unknown. It seems safer to hire people whose disabilities are visible and easily defined.

Each person with a disability finds his or her own niche carved out of their own experience. Many start their own business out of desperation caused from the exclusion of society. Their individual talents and abilities can make them as valuable as the able-bodied people in their same communities, and their insights into many of life’s challenges can come from a unique and helpful vantage point.

As a person living with invisible disabilities, the scrutiny, doubt and lack of understanding from those around me has been very challenging. Facing barriers at every turn, my personal experiences with dozens of medical procedures, fibromyalgia, multiple chemical sensitivities, interstitial cystitis, scurvy, memory and concentration issues, insomnia and chronic fatigue syndrome have affected every area of my life.

People are more than willing to dispute I have an invisible disability, as to them I look “normal.” Due to the invisible nature of my conditions, I have been overlooked by society. Misunderstood, I need special accommodations for my most basic needs while trying to survive. This leaves me searching for answers, desperate, isolated and determined to find a way to live a sustainable, healthier life.

Though it is difficult to deal with excruciating pain and odd hours of sleep, I have found outlets to cope with the barriers of life. If it were not for my disabilities I would not be on the path in life I am on now. I have discovered organizations that will allow me to volunteer at my own pace from home to help create awareness for people with invisible disabilities.

I have also been using visual art, poetry, performance art and photography as ways of being in the present moment. I use the camera to see where I have been and where I am going. It serves as my memory bank and helps me create a visual record of what I have done during a day. My disabilities prevent me from remembering things and my visual distortions are getting worse, so I use the eye of the camera to capture the shadows and reflections that define the physical world around me.

In this world where exclusion and isolation are the norms for people with all types of disabilities, I feel that inclusion, understanding and awareness of invisible disabilities would transform society. We all have our own abilities to offer the world. We all matter. There is only unity where neither illness nor status defines us.

Credit Notes:
This article was written by my friend Marie LeBlanc who lives in Winnipeg Canada.
“This article first appeared in Geez magazine, Spring 2014, see geezmagazine.org.”

Dear friends,

I wanted to let you know about a new petition that has been created on We the People,  a new feature on WhiteHouse.gov, and ask for your support. Will you add your  name to mine?  If this petition gets 100,000 signatures by April 16, 2014,  the White House will review it and respond!

We the People allows anyone to create and sign petitions asking the Obama  Administration to take action on a range of issues.  If a petition gets  enough support, the Obama Administration will issue an official response.

You can view and sign the petition here:

http://wh.gov/lVsph

Here’s some more information about this petition:

End the Cycle of Preventable Wartime Crises by Investigating the  Causes of the Current Military Mental Health Debacle

There has never been an Executive or Congressional investigation into the  actual causes for the Department of Defense and Veterans’ Affairs repeated  failure to learn from its own documented psychiatric lessons of war  responsible for preventable crises since the 20th century, including the most  basic-to adequately plan, prepare, & train to meet predictable mental  health and social reintegration needs of military personnel, veterans, and  their families (2007 DoD Task Force on Mental Health).
Of critical import is establishing a “Behavioral Health Corps,† and a  national campaign to eliminate social injustice from harmful mental health  stigma, disparity, & antiquated dualistic beliefs that discriminate  against those with mental illness or stress wounds, and perpetuate  generational crises.

Overlooked in disbelief, financially insecure and emotionally overcome, people with invisible disabilities remain faceless in a crowd. Many suffer in silence for fear of discrimination. Falling through the cracks of society, they are virtually impossible to spot because they look “normal.” Like a cover on a book, they are judged from the outside, yet are screaming inside for help and understanding. Awareness of invisible disabilities must be spread in order to create a just society.
An invisible disability is a hidden illness that does not require the use of visible assistive devices. People with invisible disabilities are often accused of being paranoid or faking symptoms because they “look fine.” With emotional and physical pain they struggle to keep up with society and act “normal.” The disbelief they encounter is heightened by those who fake their illnesses, discrediting those whose disabilities are all too real.
Facing hopelessness, homelessness, unequal pay, unemployment, inaccessibility to treatment and a lack of understanding from government agencies and health-care and insurance providers, people with invisible disabilities are often left on their own to survive. With everything taken away, many commit suicide as they feel there is nowhere else to turn.
A report from the Canadian Human Rights Commission recognizes that three percent of Canadians have been diagnosed with some sort of environmental sensitivity – only one of many types of invisible disabilities – and acknowledges the importance of accommodating the needs of sufferers. But due to a lack of research in the area, many people are misdiagnosed or left untreated.
Given the chance, many people suffering from invisible disabilities would prefer to work and live in a society where they are acknowledged and accepted for who they are and for their qualifications, and not excluded from society due to lack of understanding. But businesses are apprehensive to hire people who disclose their invisible disabilities due to their fear of the unknown. It seems safer to hire people whose disabilities are visible and easily defined.
Each person with a disability finds his or her own niche carved out of their own experience. Many start their own business out of desperation caused from the exclusion of society. Their individual talents and abilities can make them as valuable as the able-bodied people in their same communities, and their insights into many of life’s challenges can come from a unique and helpful vantage point.
As a person living with invisible disabilities, the scrutiny, doubt and lack of understanding from those around me has been very challenging. Facing barriers at every turn, my personal experiences with dozens of medical procedures, fibromyalgia, multiple chemical sensitivities, interstitial cystitis, scurvy, memory and concentration issues, insomnia and chronic fatigue syndrome have affected every area of my life. People are more than willing to dispute I have an invisible disability, as to them I look “normal.” Due to the invisible nature of my conditions, I have been overlooked by society. Misunderstood, I need special accommodations for my most basic needs while trying to survive. This leaves me searching for answers, desperate, isolated and determined to find a way to live a sustainable, healthier life.
Though it is difficult to deal with excruciating pain and odd hours of sleep, I have found outlets to cope with the barriers of life. If it were not for my disabilities I would not be on the path in life I am on now. I have discovered organizations that will allow me to volunteer at my own pace from home to help create awareness for people with invisible disabilities.
I have also been using visual art, poetry, performance art and photography as ways of being in the present moment. Without my disabilities I would not have discovered these hidden abilities. I use the camera to see where I have been and where I am going. It serves as my memory bank and helps me create a visual record of what I have done during a day. My disabilities prevent me from remembering things and my visual distortions are getting worse, so I use the eye of the camera to capture the shadows and reflections that define the physical world around me.
In this world where exclusion and isolation are the norms for people with all types of disabilities, I feel that inclusion, understanding and awareness of invisible disabilities would transform society. We all have our own abilities to offer the world. We all matter. There is only unity where neither illness nor status defines us.
Marie LeBlanc is an artist and disability activist based in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Without my disabilities I would not have discovered these hidden abilities.

Credit Notes:
This article was written by my friend Marie LeBlanc who lives in Winnipeg Canada.
“This article first appeared in Geez magazine, Spring 2014, see geezmagazine.org.”

ClinicalTrials.gov

A service of the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Trial record 1 of 2 for:    TMS AND PTSD AND CALIFORNIA
Previous Study         | Return to List |          Next Study

Brain Imaging of Psychotherapy for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

      This study is currently recruiting participants.
Verified January 2012 by Stanford University
Sponsor:
Collaborators:
Information provided by (Responsible Party):
Stanford University
ClinicalTrials.gov Identifier:
NCT01507948
First received: December 14, 2011
Last updated:  January 13, 2012
Last verified:  January 2012

  Purpose

The investigators are seeking people who have been exposed to a traumatic event in the past and have symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) currently. A person with PTSD may feel significant distress when reminded of a traumatic event or feel depressed, anxious or jumpy.

As a part of this study, participants will receive brain MRIs and office assessments before and after psychotherapy.  The investigators provide the gold-standard psychotherapy for PTSD, “Prolonged Exposure”, free of charge; additionally participants are compensated for their time during assessment procedures. This study is exploring the brain circuitry involved in improvement in response to psychotherapy.

Condition Intervention
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)                 Behavioral: Prolonged exposure                 Behavioral: Prolonged Exposure
Study Type:         Interventional
Study Design: Allocation: Randomized Intervention Model: Parallel Assignment Masking: Open Label Primary Purpose: Basic Science
Official Title: The Neurobiology of Psychotherapy: Emotional Reactivity and Regulation in PTSD

Resource links provided by NLM:

MedlinePlus related topics:             Anxiety                 Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

U.S. FDA Resources

Further study details as provided by Stanford University:

Primary Outcome Measures:

  • Clinician Administered PTSD scale (CAPS) [ Time Frame: Before and after Prolonged Exposure Treatment, which is expected to take approximately six weeks. ] [ Designated as safety issue: No ]
    The CAPS is a 30-item structured interview that corresponds to the DSM-IV criteria for PTSD.  In addition to assessing the 17 PTSD symptoms, questions target the impact of symptoms on social and occupational functioning, improvement in symptoms since a previous CAPS administration, overall response validity, overall PTSD severity, and frequency and intensity of five associated symptoms (guilt over acts, survivor guilt, gaps in awareness, depersonalization, and derealization). For each item, standardized questions and probes are provided.

Secondary Outcome Measures:

  • Mood and Anxiety Symptom Questionnaire (MASQ) [ Time Frame: Before and after Prolonged Exposure Treatment, which is expected to take approximately six weeks. ] [ Designated as safety issue: No ]
    Treatment success based on Improvement on subscales of the MASQ, including decreased anxious arousal and decreased anhedonic depression, from pre- to post-treatment assessment
  • fMRI-assessed resting connectivity [ Time Frame: Before and after Prolonged Exposure Treatment, which is expected to take approximately six weeks. ] [ Designated as safety issue: No ]
    From pre- to post-treatment, improve will be based on enhanced functional connectivity
  • Implicit emotion regulation [ Time Frame: Assessed 4 times: Before beginning Prolonged Exposure, after the third week of therapy, after the last therapy session (on average 6 weeks after beginning therapy), and 1 month after the end of therapy. ] [ Designated as safety issue: No ]
    Implicit emotion regulation assessed through emotion conflict task performed during functional imaging. Performance based on reaction time and recruitment of emotion regulation regions during the task.
Estimated  Enrollment: 64
Study Start Date: September 2010
Estimated  Study Completion Date: September 2015
Estimated  Primary Completion Date: September 2015 (Final data collection date for primary outcome measure)

             Arms                       Assigned Interventions          
          Experimental: Immediate Prolonged Exposure Treatment

Intake procedures include clinician-administered diagnostic battery, cognitive testing, self-report measures of symptoms, and functional imaging scan. Participants in this arm will complete a concurrent TMS/fMRI scan before beginning Prolonged Exposure (PE). PE will be delivered in 9-12 90-minute sessions. Therapy will be delivered by PhD-level therapists at Stanford and Palo Alto VA.
                      Behavioral: Prolonged exposure

PE will be delivered in 9-12 90-minute sessions. Therapy will be delivered by PhD-level therapists at Stanford and Palo Alto VA. PE consists of four components: psychoeducation about PTSD symptoms and the behavioral or cognitive factors maintaining it, a brief breathing retraining that can be used as a stress management tool, prolonged imaginal exposure to the trauma memory both within-session and repeated as homework, and prolonged in vivo exposure to avoided scenarios in patients’ day-to-day lives.
          No Intervention: Wait list, immediately followed by Prolonged Exposure

Intake procedures include clinician-administered diagnostic battery, cognitive testing, self-report measures of symptoms, and functional imaging scan. NOTE: Participants in this arm receive treatment following a waitlist period of 12 weeks.  After waitlist, will have a TMS/fMRI scan and then immediately begin Prolonged Exposure treatment. See above for description of Prolonged Exposure.
                      Behavioral: Prolonged Exposure

PE will be delivered in 9-12 90-minute sessions. Therapy will be delivered by PhD-level therapists at Stanford and Palo Alto VA. PE consists of four components: psychoeducation about PTSD symptoms and the behavioral or cognitive factors maintaining it, a brief breathing retraining that can be used as a stress management tool, prolonged imaginal exposure to the trauma memory both within-session and repeated as homework, and prolonged in vivo exposure to avoided scenarios in patients’ day-to-day lives.

  Eligibility

Ages Eligible for Study: 18 Years to 60 Years
Genders Eligible for Study: Both
Accepts Healthy Volunteers: No
Criteria

Inclusion Criteria:

  1. age between 18 and 60 years;
  2. fMRI scanning eligibility, including no evidence of any form of metal embedded in the body (e.g., metal wires, nuts, bolts, screws, plates, sutures), as these produce artifacts when brain imaging;
  3. not currently involved in an exposure-based psychotherapy, in order to be able to measure and interpret the effects of PE on PTSD;
  4. must comprehend English well and show non-impaired intellectual abilities to ensure adequate comprehension of the fMRI task instructions and PE treatment;
  5. no history of neurological or cardiovascular disorders, brain surgery, electroconvulsive or radiation treatment, brain hemorrhage or tumor, stroke, seizures or epilepsy, diabetes, hypo- or hyperthyroidism, head trauma with loss of consciousness greater than thirty minutes;
  6. no regular use of benzodiazepine, opiate, thyroid, anticonvulsant or antipsychotic medications. Patients on stable doses of antidepressant medications will be allowed. Patients for whom antidepressant dosing is being actively titrated will be required to be on a stable dose for 1 month prior to inclusion in the study.

Exclusion Criteria:

  • Any contraindication to being scanned in the 3T or 1.5T scanners at the Lucas Center or CNI such as having a pacemaker or implanted device that has not been cleared for scanning at the Lucas Center or CNI.
  • Participants will be excluded from the study if there is any lifetime evidence of psychosis, mania, hypomania, or bipolar disorders. Other axis I comorbidities will not be a cause for exclusion.

In addition, subjects will be excluded if they have a significant CNS neurological condition such as stroke, seizure, tumor, hemorrhage, multiple sclerosis, etc.

Patients who have current substance dependence will be excluded from the study. A recent diagnosis of substance abuse is allowable, however, as long as subjects have been abstinent for greater than three months.

  • Subjects will be excluded if they are currently in an exposure-based psychotherapy for PTSD.

  Contacts and Locations

    Please refer to this study by its ClinicalTrials.gov identifier: NCT01507948

Contacts
Contact: Kathy Peng, B.A. 650-725-9510 psychiatry@stanford.edu
Contact: Madeleine Goodkind, PhD 650-493-5000 ext 60168 mgoodkin@stanford.edu

  

Locations
United States, California
VA Palo Alto Healthcare System Recruiting
Palo Alto, California, United States, 94304
Contact: Kathy Peng, B.A.     650-725-9510     psychiatry@stanford.edu
Contact: Madeleine Goodkind, Ph.D.     650-493-5000 ext 60168     mgoodkin@stanford.edu
Principal Investigator: Amit Etkin, M.D., Ph.D.
Stanford University, Department of Psychiatry Recruiting
Stanford, California, United States, 94304
Contact: Kathy Peng, B.A.     650-725-9510     psychiatry@stanford.edu
Contact: Madeleine Goodkind, Ph.D.     650-725-9510     mgoodkin@stanford.edu
Principal Investigator: Amit Etkin, M.D., Ph.D.

Sponsors and Collaborators
Stanford University

Investigators
Principal Investigator: Amit Etkin, M.D., Ph.D. Stanford University
Study Director: Madeleine S Goodkind, Ph.D. Stanford University

  More Information

    Additional Information:

study webpage      This link exits the ClinicalTrials.gov site
study poster      This link exits the ClinicalTrials.gov site
study goals      This link exits the ClinicalTrials.gov site

No publications provided

Responsible Party: Stanford University
ClinicalTrials.gov Identifier: NCT01507948             History of Changes
Other Study ID Numbers: SU-10252011-8566
Study First Received: December 14, 2011
Last Updated: January 13, 2012
Health Authority: United States: Institutional Review Board United States: Federal Government

       Keywords provided by Stanford University:

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)                     Psychotherapy                     non-medication treatment                     Prolonged Exposure Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS)                     Anxiety Disorders                     emotion                     emotion regulation                     functional MRI                     Affective Symptoms

       Additional relevant MeSH terms:

                    Stress Disorders, Post-Traumatic                     Stress Disorders, Traumatic                     Anxiety Disorders                     Mental Disorders

ClinicalTrials.gov processed this record on August 27, 2013

As a Black Man I Have had to contend with all of what’s talked about in the article below in addition to healing from my PTSD. I’ve been stopped several times by police and once on a Washington state darkened Highway in 2001 for doing absolutely nothing but driving my truck home from the beach (Ocean Shores). At the time I was a crisis-line volunteer, licensed and employed aircraft mechanic, home-owner and had $300 of my own money in my pocket plus a credit card. I considered myself an upstanding citizen and yet,… out of the blue I was [pursued] and stopped by a legally gun carrying cop who exited the patrol vehicle with his [hand on] his gun. I yelled at the cop while having my hands on my steering wheel with interior car light on, “why are you stopping me?!”,… The officer’s answer was,… “someone called-in and said you were driving drunk”,… I yelled loudly once more with a clearly articulated voice while looking the officer straight in the eye,… “I have not had a drink since 1997…!”,…. the officer then said in a calm voice “I can tell you have not been drinking”. It was the only time in my life that I had ever yelled at a police officer and was prepared to kill him that night and I think he knew it because of my defiant nature as I turned and [stood my ground]. The officer did a very curious thing by backing up slowly, entered his patrol car, turned off the lights and drove away. All without ever asking for my vehicle registration or driver license which is required to be checked once an “official” stop has been made. The following week while on volunteer duty,… I mentioned to the crisis-line staff(all white) what had happened to me,… and they were shocked to say the least. I’m lucky to be alive today to share one of my personal stories with you and I encourage other Men of color,… but particularly Black Men,… to share your stories via some form of media(voice, written word, painting,… etc.). By sharing your stories,… it can be a way to honor yourselves and those individuals who have been harmed unjustly and “silenced” with death,… it is a way to make known,… the prevalence of such contradictory and destructive behavior that takes place within our society. Keep in mind that many of these transgressions take place and have taken place without any official record of their existence. Consider choosing to let your individual stories become an official record.

With a heavy heart,… I agree with what the author has written below and particularly the deeply profound final sentence. I feel a great uneasiness for Mr. Zimmerman because he has opened a Pandora’s-box for himself. I would not wish my personal and horrible experiences or anything similar,… on anyone,… including Mr. Zimmerman.

I’m 50 years old and another Black male who could have been Mr. Trayvon Martin…

Howard Lovely, Jr.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Dear George Zimmerman,

For the rest of your life you are now going to feel what its like to be a black man in America.

You will feel people stare at you. Judging you for what you think are  unfair reasons. You will lose out on getting jobs for something you feel is outside of your control. You will believe yourself to be an  upstanding citizen and wonder why people choose to not see that.

People will cross the street when they see you coming. They will call  you hurtful names. It will drive you so insane some days that you’ll  want to scream at the top of your lungs. But you will have to wake up  the next day, put on firm look and push through life.

I bet you never thought that by shooting a black male you’d end up inheriting all of his struggles.

Enjoy your “freedom.”

Sincerely,

 A black male who could’ve been Trayvon Martin

Be Heard, Spread the Word July is African American Bone Marrow Awareness Month. Share the link BTMItsOnYou.org and ask other African Americans to join the registry and help patients in need.

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.

I joined the Marrow Donor List back in 1995.

Howard Lovely, Jr.

Working together to erase the stigma and discrimination of mental illness.

Hi Howard,

On Monday, June 3rd, President Obama and Vice President Biden will host a White House Mental Health Conference as part of the Administration’s effort to launch a national conversation to increase understanding and awareness about mental health. President Obama will deliver opening remarks and Vice President Biden      will deliver closing remarks to conference participants.

While millions of Americans struggle with mental health problems, those who need help are too often afraid to seek it because of the shame and secrecy associated with mental illness. The conference will bring together people from across the country, including representatives from state and local governments, mental health advocates, educators, health care providers, faith leaders, and individuals who have struggled with mental health problems, to discuss how we can all work together to reduce stigma and help the millions of Americans struggling with mental health problems recognize the importance of reaching out for assistance.

Bring Change 2 Mind is answering the President’s call to launch a national conversation to increase the understanding and awareness about mental health by participating during the White House Mental Health Conference. We invite you to participate in the conversation by watching it live at www.whitehouse.gov/live from approximately 9:30am to 2:45pm EST on June 3.
In addition the Department of Health and Human Services will officially launch a  new website, www.MentalHealth.gov on June 3 to continue the conversation begun at the National Conference on Mental Health. The purpose of the website is to provide mental health information and resources for individuals living with mental health problems, friends and family members, educators, and other community members. Specifically, the website will feature information regarding the basic signs of mental health problems, how to talk about mental health and ways to find help.
Another important purpose of MentalHealth.gov is to keep the conversation about mental health going after June 3 by sharing information about what organizations and individuals across the country are doing to raise awareness about mental health in their communities. BC2M will be an active partner in the continuing conversation about mental health and in particular the stigma and discrimination of mental illness.
We are pleased to be participating in this very important conference and look forward to the dialogue that will begin in earnest as a result of so many dedicated people coming together to advance the conversation.
Sincerely,
Glenn Close
Chairperson
Howard At Rocky-Mountain-National-Park 5 October 2012

Howard At Rocky-Mountain-National-Park 5 October 2012

 Update as of 24 August 2014,…. I did not follow through with these treatments (TMS),… but have continued to advance favorably from previous EMDR treatments.  
I look forward to doing more EMDR treatments in the near future.

Hello everyone,….
I’m following through on my plans to try a new Federal Drug Administration (FDA) approved treatment for PTSD / Anxiety.
According to Joann Gadsky at http://www.smartbrainandhealth.com/,.
..recent University level trials were successful while utilizing this treatment method specifically for PTSD / Anxiety.
During the past three decades I have tried many different methods to attempt to gain relief from my uncontrollable symptoms and have achieved some success with the use of Eye-Movement-Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) during the most recent seven years.
Utilization of this TransCranial-Magnetic-Stimulation (TMS) method,… which will target and directly stimulate the over-active / under-active area(s) of my brain,… to potentially achieve a decrease or increase of activity respectively.
As many of you may already know,…one of the hallmark symptoms of PTSD is the near constant and unrelenting automatic Fight-Flight response,… or what I call the roller-coaster-ride-feeling that most individuals are familiar with while riding a coaster at an amusement park,.. or the chilling affect of watching a horror movie are close approximations. Those intense physical stomach sensations, tense muscle contractions, goose-bumps and tingly skin that go hand-in-hand with an [intentional thrill],… are no fun at all when it’s uncontrollable as with PTSD (a complex Anxiety disorder) and coupled with a sense of impending gloom & doom. Imagine this happening uncontrollable,…literally hundreds of times per day. This is what I’ve been experiencing for 41 years since age eight and why I am willing to take an enormous financial risk while reaching for “freedom”,… from within.
I plan to Blog about my experience each day once I start treatments providing that I can secure access to a laptop with windows-7.
If anyone has an old functional lap-top to donate to me,…I’ll be pleased to receive it.
Here’s the up-date as of yesterday:  
My treatments are scheduled for 6 May – 13 June 2013.  
Total treatment cost is $13,600,….20% higher than the previous estimate.  
I paid a deposit of $5,562.00 yesterday via credit-card. 
Because I don’t have Health-Insurance,…by my calculations,…if I max out all my medical-loan credit lines plus utilize the $2,000.00 that Landy (Family) sent I should be able to cover everything. 
I still have to find appropriate housing for the entire 37 days at a cost of approximately $3,000.00  – $5,000.00 due to seasonal increases in the beach community area.
My dog’s (Gracie) kennel care  will cost aprox. $2,336.25 for 5 weeks.
Total logistical out-of-pocket costs will run about $18,000.00 – $21,000.00 utilizing only my Veteran Administration monthly compensation to pay it all back with monthly payments.
It’s gonna be financially as tight as a nets ass say the least.
P.S.
If anyone from the Veterans Administration is reading this Blog,…please consider potentially investing in this type of treatment as an additional “tool’ in your available tool-kit of treatments or consider providing the specific monetary coverage for the treatments at a civilian facility such as SmartBrainAndHealth; moreover, if this treatment proves to be as successful in the general population,… as the recent FDA approved trials turned-out,…then this method of treatment could potential increase medically combat readiness turn-around-time for active duty personnel. 
Just an FYI….
P.P.S.
If anyone is interested in donating money,…you can choose to call the facility directly and speak to Joann Gadsky (Director of Doctor patient relations) and mention my full name.
The money will be deposited into my name / patient account:
(Howard Lovely Jr).  
Call: 
(Director of patient & Doctor relations)
SmartBrainAndHealth
2811 Wilshire Blvd. suite 660
Santa Monica, CA 90403
Howard At Rocky-Mountain-National-Park 5 October 2012

Howard At Rocky-Mountain-National-Park 5 October 2012

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

Six weeks ago I did not have a clue as to how I would manage to find the funding to pay for treatments at the http://www.smartbrainandhealth.com/ facility. Since first seeing the episode of Dr. Phil that featured the new treatment and initially being told NO,…to my surprise,…I was called by the director of the facility two weeks ago and told YES. Joanne Gadsky (director of patient / Doctor relations) informed me that because their university level trials have been successful and that Smart-Brain-And-Health has received a new Federal Drug Administration (FDA) approved machine,…Smart-Brain-And-Health now has TMS magnets strong enough to offer potential treatment for PTSD (complex anxiety disorder).

TMS = Trans-cranial Magnetic Stimulation

fMRI = Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging

Since being notified that I can go ahead and schedule treatments as soon as the new machine is up and running,…I have been asking for financial help from all corners. I have received several lines of credit for medical purposes, a few “Hell-Naw…!” from financial institutions, at least one known pledge of $5.00 from an individual in San Diego, refinanced my house and I am currently organizing personal items to be sold via craigslist. This weekend was a success in terms of selling enough items on craigslist to pay for one of two needed airline tickets.

This morning I got $150.00 for a Chipper / shredder. I paid the same amount for it three years ago.
I sold both a Mower & Tiller to the same person for $80.00 bucks yesterday.
The Mower was given to me broken last year and I fixed it without any cash out-lay.
The Tiller I paid $42.00 for,…about 6 years ago.

I reeled in enough cash ($230) to pay for one round-trip ticket to California for my initial fMRI…!   (round-trip airfare cost $215.00 as of today with Frontier & United)

Roto-Tiller & Lawn Mower For Sale 008 Roto-Tiller & Lawn Mower For Sale 015 Chipper  Shredder 003

Note:                                                                                                                          1.                                                                                                                                              One of my Cousins is attempting to sale several guns (collectable / antique) at a gun show in Knoxville Tennessee this weekend February 9th & 10th. His efforts and the willingness of my biological family to choose to release the fire arms,…that are to be sold,…will continue to be profoundly beneficial to the forward momentum of raising cash to pay for all the necessary elements (treatments, food, lodging, travel, etc.,..) needed to facilitate treatments in Santa Monica California. If needed,…and regardless of potential treatment success or failure,…I’m willing to empty my house of all it’s ancillary contents in pursuit of freedom from 41 years of mental imprisonment.

2.
The second and main ticket will most likely cost more because I will need to purchase an open-ended return date.

I have another Roto-Tiller to repair that I bought for $25.00 two years ago and should have it running this week just by cleaning the carburetor and scraping the carbon off the head.          I expect to get $40 – $50.00 for it.

I also have another Mower to repair that I got for free,…I’ve got the engine running but I have to mount it back on the frame.
I expect to get $40 – $50.00 for it on craigslist.

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

The following is a letter that I recently sent to my entire family via one cousin that courageously asked to reconnect with me. This is a cousin that I spent a lot of time with as a child. keep in mind that I have been estranged from my biological family for over a decade. I have held this distance in my heart and physically for very specific reasons that I have spoken of in previous posts. The following chain of events are viewed as an “Olive Tree”,…that has for the third time in 41 years,…appeared fully grown for this “family” to recognize,…and then choose to take a branch. The first time occurred around 1973 when the matriarch (Grand Mother Upshaw) emphatically urged my parents to make piece with each other,…and the wisdom went unheeded. I was about 9 years old at that time. The third occurrence took place around 1994 when I was deep in a fit of suicidal, depressive and mental incapacitation to the level that my Aunt Margaret (Carver’s mother) chose to advise my family to assist me,….this too,…went unheeded without my knowledge,…for many years until recently. That amounts to two “Olive Trees” associated with the potential of fostering piece where there is imminent discord, distrust, disrespect and a fractured family bond that is deeper than the height of Mount Everest. In my eyes,…Cousin Carver’s request to reconnect,…represents a third appearance of an “Olive Tree” in this family,…and our (Carver & Howard) recent conversations lead to the following events that I have out-lined in the letter below. Maybe there is potential for my continued healing by selling the collection of antique / collectable weapons that ironically include two of the very firearms,…that I powerlessly and in a confused state of mind,…witnessed my father threaten to kill my mother as a child,…on numerous occasions. In a strange twist of life events,….maybe further healing can be born of the same weapons that caused so much hurt within the family. Choice is the key,…back then,…and now. 

 

Update:                                                                                                                                              Today I was denied credit card increases or new bank loans to cover the medical expenses. One medical card that I use for my dog was increase by $2900 but I can not use it toward treatment at the Smart-Brain-And-Health facility. Also the interest rates (9 – 40%) and upfront 10 – 15% fees that get taken of the top of the loan,…are way to high and financially dangerous for me to accept a medical loan via a third party that I inquired about.

Howard At Rocky-Mountain-National-Park 5 October 2012

Howard At Rocky-Mountain-National-Park 5 October 2012

_______________________________________________________________________

The Letter

http://www.smartbrainandhealth.com/

The above link is to a facility that I need to go and have a type of non-invasive Brain surgery
as an attempt to further my healing process. It came highly recommended by Dr. Phil and there is a video clip of the Dr. Phil show where I learned about the treatment technique.

Treatment Facility:
I’ve been in contact with the agency and have been accepted into the program due to the FDA approval  of their new machine that can potentially help individuals with Anxiety (PTSD) disorder much like myself.
I was initially turned down a month ago because their current machine was not strong enough; however,  the trials and Federal Drug Administration trials have proved successful and I received a call from the director of the treatment facility several days (25 Jan. 2013) ago with the good news.

Costs:
The cost of the treat will be approximately $11,000.00 (+- 10%)..
I will have to stay in California for the daily treatments at least 30 days and need at least
$2,000.00 for accommodations, $500.00 for food and $1000.00 for two round-trip air fare tickets (one for initial evaluation and one for the treatment period).

Home Re-Finance:
I’ve just (22 Jan. 2013) successfully re-financed my home and cut my interest-rate down from 6.5% to a 3%.
This action will reduce my mortgage down from $749.01 (PITI) to $542 (PITI),….net result is an additional $200.00 per month that will enable me to possible take-out additional debt in the form of a medical-loan.
I plan to apply for a medical loan this week.

Gun Collection:
You gave me an idea of potentially how to raise a few hundred or thousand dollars for the medical procedure.
That is to say sale my drums that are possible still stored in Peaty & Williams attic and potentially sale Dad’s old gun collection including the 1911 (.45 pistol) that may be a rare “singer” of which only 500 were made.
serial numbers S8000001 – S8000500.

If the Family has not already parted with this weapons collection or drums and if the family is willing to choose to help me in this way,…it may be a viable source of funding for my medical treatments.

All they (Family) has to do is choose to call a legitimate antique collector / antique gun collector and negotiate a far price for the entire gun collection.

Since you are currently evolved with this community of collectors,…Carver,….if you choose,…you may be able to assist with this finding of a collector that is willing to pay a fare price. 

P.S.
I’m not begging for this assistance,…I’ve made it thus far alone for the most part; however,…I am,…pointing to a potential “olive-tree”.

A potential new beginning as cousin Carver has shown me via his actions in recent days.

This is the third time in forty-one years that an “Olive-Tree” has “appeared” in this Family.
The first time I was just a boy. 
The second time,…I was mentally incapacitated to some degree as a young adult.
This time I see it and have the mental awareness to call it out for what it is,…an “Olive-Tree”. 

The fact that last month,…Carver reached out to me in a manner that I deemed to be sincere, un-demanding and non-obligatory,…Carver point-blank asked / expressed his desire to reconnect with me in a respectful manner.
He seems to have recognized my needs as a Man,…as well as his (Carver) own needs / desire as an adult Male.
Carvers actions have re-kindled a since of hope of being seen as,…and respected as a Man within the Family,…rather than continual dis-respect as that long ago lost little boy called “Jr”.
Life continues to amaze me with the confluence of situations / circumstances such as the present time that sometimes provide potential opportunity for new beginnings to help me,…help myself,…simply by selling a few items that are sitting around collecting dust.
The act and fact that Carver confidently and courageously reached out to me last month in a manner that I deemed to be sincere,…and point-blank asked / expressed his desire to reconnect with me in a respectful manner,…a behavior that recognized my needs as a Man,…as well as his (Carver) own desire for connection with “Family” on some level,…
was an “Olive-Tree” in my eyes.
Whether we as individual “Family” members choose to walk over to such an “Olive-Tree” at this time,…and snip a branch off,…is each individuals choice.

With the writing of this letter,…I have chosen to stand before this “Olive-Tree”.
Will you help me,…help myself…?
Keep in mind that creativity,…sourced from source-energy,…has been the salvation of many generations that came before us.

Howard in Rocky Mountain National Park 5 October 2012......20121005_141656

COMING SOON

OUT OF THE SILENCE: My Journey Into Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Back

“A stunning memoir” — Suzy Kenyon

ABOUT THE BOOK
Trapped in his living room between his gun-toting father and his butcher-knife-wielding mother, eight year-old Howard Lovely stood in horror as his father pulled the trigger. Amazingly, no one died. But something happened inside of Howard that would take more than thirty years to begin to reverse. Howard’s horror caused a major disruption in the young boy’s brain processing that led to what is labeled in the DSM-IV-TR as posttraumatic stress disorder, a mental health condition faced by approximately 5.2 million Americans each year. Howard and others like him suffer from a series of painful and far-reaching psychological, social, and physical effects as a result of having witnessed or experienced violence.
From the moment of this trauma, Howard seemed to walk through life upside down. A neighborhood kid yelling to another would make his body feel under attack. The beep of a car horn would hop him up on adrenaline. The sound of a dog barking would send his heartbeat racing into full PTSD mode. Howard figured that if he could just get away from the screaming and hitting at home, everything would start to be okay.
But when he enlisted in the Air Force, Howard’s body and mind took off again, racing down an ever-lasting rollercoaster of PTSD attacks. Howard would suffer through three hospitalizations in psych wards, fourteen out of twenty years in a jobless state, and countless doctor and therapy visits. In the end, he took a gamble on a treatment he had read about: eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, also known as EMDR.
That gamble gave him a renewed opportunity at life.
This is his unforgettable story into the war raging inside his head…and finally back to peace. Out of the Silence takes readers inside the complicated mind of a victim of PTSD, and how each can reclaim his or her life.
________________________________________
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Howard Lovely, Jr. is a life coach who helps survivors of domestic violence, abuse and learn function more effectively—be it learn how to work through their challenges, achieve their goals and make a plan to not only survive, but overcome debilitating pain and chaos. As he says, “the goal is to not only survive, but thrive.”
________________________________________
REVIEWS
“This stunning memoir will put a face to PTSD, a debilitating disorder currently receiving increased attention in response to the significant number of affected veterans returning home from the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. PTSD is no small issue, with the VA treating approximately 200,000 veterans with this diagnosis at an annual cost of $4 billion according to The Psychiatric Times.”—David Lackmin, Psychiatrist

OUT OF THE SILENCE: My Journey Into Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Back
MEMOIR / HEALING / MIND BODY SPIRIT
ISBN: 978-1-936332-62-5
ePub: 978-1-936332-63-2
6 x 9, 250 pages; $18.95
BISACS: PSY022040; HIS027120; BIO008000
RIGHTS: WORLD WIDE World Wide Distribution

http://bettieyoungsbooks.com/

© 2009- 2013 Bettie Youngs Books
HOME | ABOUT US | OUR AUTHORS/BOOKS | BOOK CLUB | PRESS ROOM | SUBMISSIONS | CONTACT US
design: – GRAPHEYE -

Working together to erase the stigma and discrimination of mental illness.

Howard,

Like—I’m sure—all of you, I have gone through these days since the unspeakable

tragedy in Sandy Hook with a feeling of profound sorrow, thinking of the families

who lost their children, of the immensity and torment of their grief.

As an actress, my craft has taught me to imagine myself walking in the shoes of

other human beings—seeing what they see, hearing what they hear, feeling what

they feel. But when I try to imagine what the Sandy Hook families are experiencing,

my mind stops at what feels like a breaking point. I think it’s because I had the

great joy and privilege of raising a child and any thought of the tragedy takes me

back immediately to when she was in Kindergarten. I remember how original,

spontaneous and wonderfully opinionated she was and so funny! The outfits she

concocted!

The shows she put on! I think of how sweet and loyal she was to her friends; how

caring and solicitous of all animals that became a part of our household. I think

of the sweet smell of her hair and the softness of her skin. I think of her endless

sense of wonder and her effortless capacity for joy.

It is so easy to let our thoughts sink to a place of rage, terror and despair, but I

choose to take my memories about all that was and is good, beautiful and fearless

about my child and to add them to our collective memory—to everything that

connects us. To everything that is good. I believe that we can collectively

connect to the Sandy Hook families—to all families who have experienced trauma

and tragedy—and become a healing force for good.

I also think of Jessie, my sister, and her son Calen and how terrifying it was when

Calen fell ill with schizoaffective disorder. They both have talked about what it is

like to become ill with something that you know nothing about and how having the

courage to seek help has changed their lives—all of our lives.

A tragedy like Sandy Hook can tend to solidify people’s fears and prejudices about

mental illness. So it is of vital importance that we, as a community, re-dedicate

ourselves to eliminating the stigma that effects 1 in 4 people in our country.

We must educate ourselves about mental illnesses—starting with

“the big four”—schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, serious depression and

post-traumatic stress—and talk openly. We must be aware of the dangers that

can occur when someone goes undiagnosed as well as the very real possibilities

for recovery—be aware of the fact that the earlier someone seeks treatment the

better their recovery will be. Life, love, fulfillment and dignity are possible.

We must let our Congressmen and Senators know what we are thinking and

talking about. I was talking to Tom Insel, Director of the National Institute of

Mental Health (NIMH) recently and he told me that mental illnesses account

for 30% of all medical disabilities! The time for our leaders to pay attention

to that fact, and do something about it, is way overdue.

On behalf of myself, the Bring Change 2 Mind Board, Scientific Advisory Council

and staff, we thank you for your support and call you to action in 2013:

—Ask 10 people to take the pledge and commit to our principles

—Share your story – it will help others to find their voice

—Talk openly and listen closely when needed

—Practice empathy and save your judgment

—Be aware of your language – words can perpetuate stigma

—Support the Change A Mind Campaign by introducing it to your

community With your passion and commitment, person-by-person,

family-by-family, community-by-community, we will change minds

and lives.

With hope that you and your loved ones have a beautiful holiday season,

Glenn

Dear Mr. President & Speaker of the House Boehner,

I’m a Gulf-War veteran currently receiving compensation for a non-combat service connected disability.  Based on the quote from,…and the entire the article listed below,….I have decided for myself,…that I am personally willing to relinquish 8% – 10% of my Veterans Administration issued monetary compensation. It will help the country get back on it’s “feet”. I chose to have something smaller in quantity rather than nothing at all.

Although I have relatively “no” retirement($28.50 as of October 2012) savings in my 401K Fidelity account because I used it all for EMDR treatments seven years ago and I am currently unemployed, I have chosen this option out of Duty-Honor-Country.

Howard Lovely, Jr. ret. Sgt. USAF

Colorado, USA ________________________________________________________________________

Boehner Faces Line in the Sand in Fiscal Cliff Talks By DAVID KERLEY | ABC OTUS News – 12 hrs ago

“In exchange, the president suggests $600 billion in cuts to Medicare and other programs. House Republicans say that is not enough, but they have not publicly listed what they would cut.”

Hi and welcome.
I’m Howard,…Author, Life-Coach, Mentor, survivor of domestic violence and non-combat Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder (PTSD).

I help survivors of domestic violence, abuse & PTSD function more effectively, calmly and work through their challenges,…to achieve their goals.

It is my sincerest desire to use my extensive experience to support and help you thrive in the midst of joy or adversity. Much like the clouds obscure the peaks of the mountains pictured behind me,…your individual aspirations can be drastically obscured by your seemingly insurmountable challenges.

Contact:

(970)352-5567

web-site: www.RockSolidPotential-Life-CoachingLLC.com

email: HowardLovelyJr@RockSolidPotential-Life-Coaching.com

http://www.therapytribe.com/listing/RockSolidPotential_Life_Coaching.html

 

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

As I understand it,…during slavery times in the American Southern States,…my Great GrandMother and other individuals made do with what they were given in terms of food. When the owner of a plantation butchered an animal,…many of the parts were considered waste or unfit for consumption and often times were given to the slaves. Being creative as they always were and continued to be,…cooks put into food their heart, mind, spirit, pain, desires and ingenuity to say the least. Once throw-away animals parts such as pig-tails, pig-ears, guts (chitlins), pig feet  and ribs that had very little meat on them,…would all be paired up with other simple items such as cooked greens. In any other country these simple items would be called peasant-food but in this country it’s known as Soul-Food. Though it has been at least fourteen years since I last cleaned a five-pound bucket of slippery foul-smelling pig guts,…with the business end of a butter knife,…only to end up with about two pounds of edible chitlins,…there is nothing like that nose twisting fragrant aroma of fresh pig intestine. Have mercy on my nose so that my taste buds can rejoice at dinner time…! And don’t forget the hot sauce, cole-slaw and cornbread…! For me,…Soul-Food is a metaphor in terms of my views on relationships of all types (personal, amorous, food, health, spiritual,..etc.,.) at this time in my life. Just like those foul-smelling pig intestines or other scraps of food,…amorous relationships can often times come with their on bits and pieces of “fat”, “foul-smelling crap package” and a “core structure” that seemingly has no meat on it much like a slab of ribs. An individual such as myself may appear this way while overwhelmed with dis-ease as a result of a complex anxiety disorder such as PTSD. Nevertheless,..with a little ingenuity,…that foul-smelling gut wrenching dis-ease (depression, anxiety,..etc.,.) can potentially yield life-sustaining lessons that can / may propel a person forward in ways unimaginable while dwelling in this often times darkness of dispar. Take note of that individual that seems to have nothing going for them but bits of “meaty” character clinging to their spirit,…much like a raw slab of ribs consisting of more bone than meat,…but once cooked up slow and low over the fire of passion,…can yield a mind-blowing feast for the person who is cleaver and alert enough to see the value. Under the most dire circumstances,…many slaves such as my Great GrandMother survived,…I’m proof as such,…as I type these words. I have faith that any relationship,…individualized or as a pair-bond,…can survive with a willing participant(s). Consider putting a little Soul-Food into your relationship with yourself,…and / or your significant other.

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

Yesterday I and a neighbor (Tony) were working his old 1965 Chevy truck bed and his 2002 Chevy Silverado that needed the parking brake adjusted properly. While we were on the driveway adjusting the parking brake,…I noticed that a Blue-Banded Dove flew in next to us only about 5 feet away. I said,…”Tony…!!,…look at how close that bird has gotten to us”,…he looked and said wow!…. As we continued our work on the truck and Lupe (Tony’s wife of 22 years) was watering the lawn,…the Dove flew over to a small 6 foot tree and within 5 feet of Lupe. Once Tony and I adjusted and tested his parking brake,…we proceeded to work on his old truck and here is where things got really interesting with this curious bird. The 1965 Chevy was parked inside the garage and the bird flew into garage,…onto the roof of the truck,…and seemed to observe as Tony and I continued our task of aligning the truck bed in preparation for installation of a new wood surface that will look outstanding on the old classic. The Dove simply perched there observing our every move without flinching,…every now and then cleaning and grooming its feathers. It’s eyes appeared to be ruby-red against its tan – grey plumage. Even our noisy activities did not appear to frighten the dove in any way. At one point I sat my clear plastic water bottle on the edge of the driver side truck bed side panel and next to an automotive manual. The dove flew down off the top of the truck cab and onto the top ledge of the truck bed side panel and began to peck at my water bottle. I said “Tony look!”,….”I think it wants a drink of water!”,…..I walked right past the dove,…passing within one foot as it looked at me as if the bird knew me personally. I searched for a container and I found a small dog water bowl. I then reach for my water bottle,…without hesitation,…and amazingly the bird never flinched as my hand came within no more that six inches of its beak. I also removed the automotive manual on which the bird was standing and the dove responded by simply slowly walking off as I slide the book away but remained in the relative same location and perch on the truck bed ledge. Fortunately the book did’nt have any fresh gifts on it. I poured some of my water from my bottle into the bowl and sat it six inches from the dove and it immediately walked over to the bowl before I could even remove my hand,…perched on the rim and began to drink.

My human body is comprised of approximately 98% water,….a metaphorical “skin covered water bottle” and to the relationships of my dreams I offer drink. To the Woman of my dreams,…I offer drink,…and to myself I offer the drink of awareness. One courageous Blue-Band Dove taught me this lesson yesterday.

Tony and I continued I work for an hour or two as the bird observed. Later I went home while the bird was still perched on the truck. This morning I asked Tony what happened to the bird and if it ever flew out of the garage,…he said: “oh me and Lupe shoo-ed it out of the garage with a broom after you left and it flew away”.

By Howard Lovely Jr

Recently much of the United States has been and continues to be,…in a heat wave for the 60 – 90 days. This warmth in small metered amounts is great for plants animals and humans; however, in massive continuous doses,…the same environmental stress can cause damage of all sorts such as stunted plant growth, medical emergencies with humans and drought. For example,… in my own garden I have yellow crook-neck squash planted along with a few other heat tolerant summertime favorites such as eggplant and pole beans. My kentucky-wonder pole beans only climbed half way up the fence, many died and none have produced beans at this time wich is peak season in my garden,…this week my eggplant (Black Beauty) finally put out one “fruit” the size of a silver dollar so far and my yellow squash plant is producing 1 to 3 “fruits” per week when normally I would be over-run with 1 to 3 squash every other day. This is a simple example how stifling stress can be.

Now,..let’s imagine that what I have out-lined above is a metaphor for an anxiety disorder such as PTSD:

Human Brain = plant / muscle

Heat = anxiety / stress / event

Stifled Growth = disrupted social life, employment, family, health…etc.,..

In my life,…stress resulting in PTSD or a Complex Anxiety disorder has acted like a massive long-term “heat wave” adversely affecting my internal [brain environment]. It has stifled my ability and mobility in my social life, dating, employment,…etc.,. With plants and humans,…stress in small amounts can actually be a good experience in terms of encourage adaptation and or growth that is typically beneficial; however, extreme amounts of stress whether acute or chronic in duration can cause the opposite effect. Weight lifting is a common example. If I lift a small amount (10 pounds) of weight doing arm curls and gradually increase the weight (15, 20, 25, 30, 35 to 40 pounds) over an extended time period,…my muscles will adapt and grow stronger even though microscopically the muscle fiber is being damaged and repaired automatically by the body’s own powerful self-preservation system. Add too much weight too fast and the result can be catastrophic with a badly torn muscle that will cause limited or no use of that muscle until it heals. Sometimes plants never recover from stress. Like wise my brain structure (neurotransmitters) continue to adapt to stressful situations from the time I’m born; however,….much like the plants subjected to an excessive amount of heat due to a heat wave,…or my muscle subjected to large amounts of weight too rapidly,…the brain too,…somehow can be “torn” or “stifled” in terms of proper neurotransmitter communication ability. A “torn” brain is invisible for the most part, disruptive in every area of my life imaginable and physically & emotionally painful to say the least.

Howard,

Three years ago – on a hot and muggy day in August – hundreds of friends, volunteers and mental health advocates, joined me and my daughter, my sister and her son, in New York’s Grand Central Station. We gathered to produce a PSA aimed at eliminating the stigma and discrimination surrounding mental illness. Everyone donated their time, talent & vision. From that PSA, Bring Change 2 Mind and our incredible community was born. Guiding the development of this organization has been a humbling, inspiring and ongoing journey. Like millions of others, my family battled mental illness in an atmosphere of silence, shame, ignorance and isolation.  It was time to stop that cycle and begin talking about something that affects 1 in 4 families. I salute my sister Jessie, and my nephew Calen, for their selflessness and bravery in speaking about their lived experience. They’ve become passionate and deeply compelling advocates in their own rite. Mental illness is a family affair. We’re all in this together. Over 57 million Americans – 26% of the country – live with a diagnosable mental illness in any given year. Yet two-thirds of those affected never seek treatment in large part due to the stigma of being labeled “mentally ill,” and the resulting discrimination in social relationships, housing, and employment. With proper treatment, recovery is possible and a full & productive life can be achieved. Our PSA has been seen by over 700 million people and our radio spots have been broadcast across the country. BC2M has established a world class scientific Advisory Council and we are in the process of building a Media Advisory Council of equal status. These Advisors will help us to create our message, measure actual change in attitudes and behavior about mental illness, and to build upon what works. Change will happen family by family and community by community.
To view the PSA Click Here.
We need your help to continue our outreach! Any donation, large or small,will ensure that our message stays visible, will help us to grow our community, and allow us to create new evidence-based campaigns to reduce stigma. Sincere thanks for taking the pledge and supporting our vibrant community. Together we will gain strength, change minds and affect countless lives.

Glenn Close
Chairperson

Howard –

Incredible. More than 100,000 people — including you! — spoke up for Kentucky teenager Savannah Dietrich, who could have faced jail time after she posted online the names of the two young men who sexually assaulted her. Thanks to your action, Savannah is no longer facing charges.

Elizabeth Beier started a petition asking that charges against Savannah be dropped, and just days later, the lawyers who filed charges against Savannah withdrew the charges. One lawyer even told reporters that all the attention from Savannah’s supporters on the internet made filing the charges just not worth it — no wonder, when the petition received attention from MSNBC and the Associated Press, to name a few.

For her part, Elizabeth is thrilled that Savannah won’t face jail time for revealing the names of her convicted attackers. “Thank you to everyone who signed this petition and stood up for Savannah,” Elizabeth says. “When the whole world watches, justice is more likely to be done.”

If there’s something you want to change in your community, you’re about three minutes away from having your own petition on Change.org — just click here to get started.

Thanks for being a change-maker,

– Jon and the Change.org team

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

The Following resource was given to me by my dear Friend (Janet Geissler). It is an experiential workshop designed for clinicians that will take place at the http://www.beckinstitute.org/.

 

 

Janet Geissler, MEd
Clinical Supervisor

Institute For Family Development
34004 16th Ave South, Suite 200
Federal Way, WA 98003-8903
(253) 874-3630  Seattle
(253) 927-1550  Tacoma
(253) 838-1670  Fax
http://www.institutefamily.org<;http://www.institutefamily.org/>

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

About the Workshop:

Healing PTSD: Emotional Processing with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Elizabeth A. Hembree, PhD Department of Psychiatry, Perelman School of Medicine University of Pennsylvania
Traumatic experiences are quite common, and survivors must in some way emotionally process and integrate these unwanted and painful events. Successful processing yields a realistic perspective in which the traumatic experience is in the past, reducing the person’s sense of current threat. Many trauma survivors accomplish this over time via natural mechanisms of recovery and do not require treatment. When this process is impeded or the natural processing is insufficient, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and other problems frequently result.Studies continue to show that PTSD is a common condition, with prevalence in the general US population of about 8%. Prevalence of PTSD in the active military and veteran population is even higher: Among US active duty service men and women returning from current military deployments, PTSD is estimated as high as 14-16% and among US veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, estimates range from 4% to 17% (see Hoge et al., 2004; Richardson et al., 2010).Given the impact of PTSD on individuals and families affected by this condition, dissemination and implementation of effective treatments is a very high priority.Psychological treatments are aimed at helping the PTSD sufferer to process and integrate traumatic experiences. Cognitive behavioral therapies have extensive and strong empirical support and often result in remission or a decrease in the severity of PTSD, and decreased severity of depression and anxiety. All effective CBT interventions, which commonly include exposure (imaginal and in vivo), cognitive therapy, or skills training (e.g., stress inoculation; affect regulation and interpersonal effectiveness training), help the survivor to become less afraid of or threatened by trauma memories and reminders and of PTSD symptoms themselves, and to feel more competent and better able to cope. Theorists of exposure and cognitive approaches agree that treatment must in some way access or activate trauma memories, thoughts, and feelings, while providing corrective information that serves to modify the person’s unrealistic expectations of harm and danger and to reduce excessive negative emotion.Prolonged exposure (PE; Foa, Hembree, Rothbaum, 2007) for PTSD has amassed considerable empirical support and is one of the primary treatments being rolled out by the U.S. Department of Veteran’s Affairs and the Department of Defense. While PE is a highly effective treatment, clinicians are sometimes concerned about whether it is an appropriate treatment for individuals with PTSD resulting from certain types of trauma or for those clients whose trauma narratives and current experience are dominated by emotions other than or in addition to fear: guilt, shame, anger, grief, and sadness. This is understandable – exposure-based treatments were designed for amelioration of excessive and/or unrealistic fear, not excessive guilt or anger. Experienced trauma therapists know that fear is but one of the emotional responses to trauma that are important to address in treatment. And most likely all would agree that facing trauma memories and reminders, and dealing with the feelings that result, are of prime importance.Clinicians are also sometimes concerned that repeated revisiting of some trauma memories, particularly those associated with guilt or shame or anger about what occurred or what one did or did not do during the trauma, will be ineffective or will result in increased negative emotion. Many years of using and studying PE have yielded a rich understanding of emotional processing of traumatic memories via imaginal and in vivo exposure. Imaginal exposure – repeatedly revisiting trauma memories in imagination – and discussing and processing this experience with the therapist is a potent and efficient means of helping the PTSD sufferer to 1) fully access all of the salient information – facts, emotions, thoughts, behaviors, environment – within the trauma memory, 2) contextualize and understand his or her reactions and experience of the trauma and its aftermath, and 3) achieve a realistic perspective on the traumatic event and one’s behavior during it, as well as the impact it has had and will have in the future.These outcomes are clearly illustrated in the case of a veteran treated with PE whose traumatic experience involved a deadly engagement with the enemy in which several of the men under his command were killed, despite his considerable and courageous efforts to lead this mission successfully and to save lives. The veteran presented for treatment about 5 years after this event with severe PTSD and depression, and he was suffering from extreme guilt and self-blame for the death of his men. In imaginal exposure he revisited the memory of that painful day in which these men under his command were killed and he was shot at while trying to render them aid. He was given a recording of this first imaginal exposure to take home and asked to listen to it daily before the next session, which he did.During the review of his homework in the following session, the veteran reported that he had listened to the recording of his imaginal exposure frequently, as requested, and that he had done much ‘soul-searching’. He realized that he had done his job as best he could, and that if he had not done his job well, even more people would have died. Moreover, the veteran reported that thinking this over and listening to the session repeatedly had led him to accept that there was probably nothing that he could have done differently, and that he was beginning to feel a lessening of the “guilt and shame and the blame” he held on to for years after the death of his men. The veteran seemed relieved as he told his therapist that even though he had done everything in his power to bring everybody home, it was just not possible, and not up to him. He ended by saying that he was realizing through this process that he needed to try to let this go and to forgive himself.This case is a good reminder that our powers of recovery are strong, and that when these powers have stalled or been impeded, they can be unleashed or facilitated by good, trauma-focused psychotherapy so that healing can proceed. Prolonged exposure and cognitive therapy, often primed by imaginal revisiting of the trauma memory as suggested by Ehlers and Clark (2000), are powerful and effective procedures that activate these forces and promote a reorganization of the trauma-related information that is more accurate and whole, an acceptance of what has happened, and a reduction of anxiety, guilt, anger, sadness, and other emotions that have dominated the person’s current experience, and result in reduction of PTSD and other trauma-related disorders.ReferencesEhlers, A., & Clark, D.M. (2000). A Cognitive Model of Persistent Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 38, 319-345.Foa, E. B., Hembree, E. A. & Rothbaum, B.O. (2007). Prolonged Exposure Therapy for PTSD: Emotional Processing of Traumatic Experiences. New York: Oxford University Press.Hoge, C. W., Castro, C. A., Messer, S. C., McGurk, D., Cotting, D. I., & Koffman, R. L. (2004). Combat duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, mental health problems, and barriers to care. New England Journal of Medicine, 351, 13-22.Richardson, L. K., Frueh, B. C., & Acierno, R. (2010). Prevalence estimates of combat-related post-traumatic stress disorder: Critical review. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 44, 4-19.
  Drs. Judith and Aaron Beck

Learn the fundamentals of

Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder through an experiential workshop at the Beck Institute:
CBT for PTSD: 3-Day Workshop

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By Howard Lovely, Jr.

I recently met a Woman online (conscioussingles.com) that lives just 20 miles away. She’s a seemingly nice enough person also and we have exchanged Skype calls many times since we met a week ago. Yesterday she asked me if I like Indian food,..I said yes. then she asked if I had any favorite restaurant and I felt my entire body tense-up like a stretched rubber band. As much as I have attempted in detail,…to pre-explain my challenges via my personal profile on the dating web-site and on my Blog,…this individual told me that she didn’t see anything about my challenges on either location,…I was baffled to say the least,…unless she was simply messing with me for shits and grins. Which would’nt be very good at all. I knew what was coming because I’ve been through it so many times with Women that I’m attracted to and flirt with,…the dreaded unspoken demand for explanations about my Mental-Illness,…that sounds something like this in my head as a Man,…”now explain to me why you’re such a panty-waste?”, “scaredie-cat?”, “wimp?”. The female mental equivalent might sound like,…”is my ass too big?”, “is my ass too small?”, “are my tits the right size?”, “do I weigh too much?”, “do I weigh too little?”,…etc.,. Either way we all have our profound societal & cultural induced insecurities that can get connected / rooted into very real psychosis such as PTSD. Anyway,….I said to her: “I don’t have a favorite restaurant”,…”I haven’t been to a restaurant in a long time and can’t remember the last time”. She pressed with her questioning by asking the following: “How do you plan to date?”. It was at this point that my body tensed-up furiously,…I struggled to hide it,…and I was aware of my inner shame,…and began to break eye contact by looking away as I fell silent,…and I definitely didn’t want this Woman that I was attracted to,…to see my Soul crying. I’m a Man damn it! I felt to myself. From my indirect gaze and tension in my body,..I answered,…”I guess I’m not ready”. My voice was void of any aliveness and vivid words that could give this Woman the answer she must have wanted to hear from me. She commented that she didn’t mean to judge me and I said,…”your question is valid”,…”I’m just not ready”. In that moment,…I realized that this would not work out between she and I. After sleeping on the matter and 12 hours since the conversation,…I woke up with a little more specific clarity. It was not that I’m not ready for a relationship internally,…as I told the Lady last evening,….I simply don’t know how to date externally,… while living with PTSD, Frustration, Shame, embarrassment and Pain,…that typically arise instantly,…and,…the pressure that I often feel to be “normal” as if there is no problem or challenge. Going out to a restaurant or any social function are activities that are typically taken for granted in society; however, I have been long since cured of that. I realize that it was my internal psycho-emotional “stuff” that caused me to fall silent and feel like a stretched rubber band. I guess as a single Man who adores Women,….I pride myself on having answers and “providing”,…and when this is clearly threatened from within myself,…it’s humiliating to say the least. How does a Man(me) that can do all that I’m capable of such as fix my car, fix an airplane, grow food, cook, write, educated formally & informally, flirt with a Woman and speak articulately,…yet I can not and do not know how to fix my internally broken “something”,…or whatever it is that is broken in me. I simply don’t have the answer to give to any Woman that might ask “How do you plan to date if you can’t go out and socialize?”. This morning,…my answer to this valid question is: very creatively such as an un-crowded walk in the park, quiet picnic, weekend scenic drive, cook lunch together,..etc.,..with a willing and creative Woman,….that’s how. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for you my sweetness wherever you are,…but for now,..I’m still a single Handsome-Man-Hunk with a lot of open heart, skills and very few answers to a seemingly simple question.

Although the appearance of each challenge may vary in form, most things in life are like a metaphorical jigsaw puzzle,…similar to dis-assembling the front-end on my car in the photo above,….I just have to fit the pieces together. Somehow I may even have to create needed pieces that have been lost due to the corrosive effects of environmental elements. Kind of like fabricating new side panels in the photo below for an old 1965 Chevy truck bed that has been rusted out. It’s a conceptual irony,…that a Guy like myself with such a messed-up life,…is a “Mr. Fix-It” trained mechanic,…I’m formally and informally trained to find and resolve / repair problems. Aint that a blip….!!! Ha!…Ha!…Ha!

 

By Howard Lovely, Jr.
According to the news article Judge Deana “Dee” McDonald, Louisville, KY: Drop charges against Savannah Dietrich” By  Dylan Stableford, Yahoo! News Senior Media Reporter: “17-year-old sexual assault victim could face charges for tweeting names of attackers” 
The two young Male perpetrators of this rape,…were obviously unconcerned with the public knowing of their misdeeds due to the fact that the photos of the rape that they themselves captured,…were shared with “friends” according to the article that I read.

“Dietrich was assaulted by the pair after passing out at a party. They later shared photos of the assault with friends.”

Due to the actions of the two young Men publicly sharing their misdeed(rape) with friends via photos and most likely,…internet photos via cell-phones,…the two rapists,… publicly,…identified themselves prior to Miss Dietrich making the tweet that is at the heart of the “contempt-of-court” charge. For this reason the young lady should not be sentenced to jail time even though she did break a judge’s [grossly misguided] order to keep silent about the issue,…that is already irretrievably out in cyberspace. Though Miss Dietrich technically & legally committed,…contempt-of-court,…common sense must prevail in this case and the [court system] and its’ administrative agents,…must refrain from victimizing the “victim”. Is anyone(Judge, prosecutors, etc.,..) concerned with the short & long-term emotional well-being of this young Woman in terms of how she may choose to relate to Men and how she may choose to feel about herself as a Woman,…as she matures…??? Where is….and / or,…what is the role of Religion & Spirituality in this entire situation…??? Where is the extension of compassion from the legal system and Judge,…toward the “victim”?…

Read the full article here and if you choose,…sign the petition:  http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/savannah-dietrich-twitter-sexual-assault-louisville-174732753.html

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

Today a very alert Friend stated that she has noticed how I accept my condition with seemingly no anger at this time. I told her that I have been stuck in feelings of anger and emotionally out of control many times; however, after so many years I have simply gotten tired of,…and learned to,…stop fighting. It’s a strategy that keeps me from drowning in a sea of dispar, anger and frustration. It’s kind of like not knowing how to swim,…while struggling and flopping around all tense,…will most likely cause me to sink in a lake. However, learning to shift my thinking and gently relaxing my mind and body will allow me to float “calmly”,…in that same water,…not swim,…just float. I can do a metaphorical mental form of this concept. While living with the multitude of frustrations that accompany Mental-Illness,…I’m still unable to fix myself immediately,…unable to speed up my healing process,…yet I can just mentally-float. The mental-floating is a type of acceptance, acknowledgement and surrender to my condition,…that [lessens] anger and frustration while I’m fully aware of my Human-predicament. If I’m fortunate enough,…the currents of my divine journey may drift me toward liberation.

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

Because the compilation of my past is always with me and contributing to my present moment and future,…the road that will be travelled,…can be paved with both the ‘helpful” and seemingly “unhelpful” bricks from my experiences,…stones turned over 180 degrees, examined and positioned to form a new visual pattern that is vastly different from my previous path. Knowing that an infinite combination of patterns are possible from [all] my inner resources,…I move quietly confident in the direction of my choice while expecting and clearly receiving limitless divine support. Even as little squiggly black “floaters” have developed and minimally obscure my vision as I age,…my inner sight and self-understanding have continued to vividly sharpen.

I can choose to paint the brick road any color,…including yellow.

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

A few months ago I was asked the question: “What does being “conscious” mean to you Howard?”

After thinking silently for a while I came up with the following answer for myself.
When an individual is aware of his / her behavior and establishes congruency between thoughts, words & actions by making small internal adjustments consistently,…this is consciousness. Driving a car, flying an airplane or riding a bicycle are good metaphors for this [spiritual] / [Religious] process because keeping either one “lined-up”,…requires the operator to make small consistent adjustments based on changing road / environmental conditions,…that can throw the vehicle off course. keeping this in mind,…I think of my body as being the metaphorical vehicle.
Then I take the metaphor to a whole nother level and ask of myself:
Where is the “Me” / “Operator” in the equation of Consciousness??
Where is the first person pronoun “I“?…..
Who is the “I“?
What does the “I” look or feel like?
As if this isn’t enough of a “noodle” baking question,…I then turned around and asked myself: “How does any or all of my “Spiritual / Religious” concepts and beliefs encourage or hinder my recovery process?”
“Do I fully understand in the smallest of ways,…the seemingly complicated Laws that govern my profound existence in this physical body at this time?
It is said that Jesus said,…”As a Man thinks,…so shall he become”. This concept is expressed in many other sacred text and oral traditions,…though with different words.
If I were to interpret this Law literally,…it will infer that I somehow asked for PTSD or that another individual stricken with Cancer, MS or any type ailment,…somehow asked for it. I don’t believe that the spiritual Law works that literally. Yet I do have personal evidence in my life that the Law does work generally. It’s kind of like attempting to understand the concept of [air] as a life-giving force / gas without seeing it physically,…yet knowing it works generally to keep my body alive and without air,…I will certainly die. Electricity is another conceptual example that exists with profound impact within and externally of my body,…yet it’s existence and location is difficult to explain or pinpoint. It’s simply everywhere all the time and profoundly powerful,…just like the power of Spirituality / Religion of all brands. Each person can choose to Plug-in to the [resource] or not. I chose to reconnect.

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

Within a free Nation and on the eve of Independence Day, I search for my on personal freedom. The “lacking” that I search for can not be legislated by intellectuals or politicians,…nor can it be forged into a vivid document comprised of wood-pulp / parchment, ink and words. What I seek within myself can not be infused by well-meaning words from Clergy or Gurus of any type. There are no bullets, bombs or other weapons powerful enough to penetrate the [seemingly] indomitable invisible “walls” of Mental-Illness,…an internal-external double walled fortress comprised of anguish, sorrow, frustration, stigma, fear, shame, guilt, humiliation and emasculation to say the least. Years ago this fortress went up so fast within me,…much like an inflatable Bouncy-Castle at a child’s Birthday party,…minus the joy and laughter of course,…a kind of instant inflatable mental prison. Though inherently intrusted with the power of my personal protection,…my body’s nervous system has long since gone rogue; nevertheless, a peace accord is currently being negotiated between my brain, sympathetic nervous system and all the cells within my body. For the past forty years a discord has raged within me and during the immediate previous 7 years,…a restoration of internal balance has been in the works. There has been no fan fare, parades or celebration,…just a calming of my mind and nervous system one day at a time,…plus a returning of unbridled confidence that I have faint memories of having possessed long ago as a child. My recovery process continues to be much like the difference between the violent winds of a past hurricane,…transformed to an early morning gentle breeze,…with the occasional disruptive gust. Although I’m out of the prison cell, I have not cleared the prison grounds as I continue my [inner] quest for freedom.

“Spot-Light”

06/25/2012

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

Life experience has taught me that my Mental-Illness is a type of “spot-light” that will illuminate my character,…as well as the character of everyone around me,…for better or worse. Oddly,…this last personal fact makes it a really useful tool in a weird way. I’ve come to the conclusion that individuals who choose to be helpfully around me while I’m at my “worst”,…will definitely be deserving of the fantastic qualities that I’ve always possessed,…when I’m at my “better”.

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

As I started attempting to understand what I now know is,…and has been,… undiagnosed PTSD up until August of 2005,…I have discovered many painful facts about my feelings and life. One thing that seems to go back so far is the idea and experience of [abandonment]. As a child when the guns, knives and angry words would so often surface between my parents, I had no vocabulary to describe what I was feeling as I watched and listened in horror as early as eight years old and up until age 21. At that time my skin tingled furiously for 13 years during my childhood from 1972 – 1985,…a feeling like a thousand mosquitos had descended upon me all at once to suck the “life” out of me and my groin pulsed as if I were about to wet my pants most times,…but never did. My mouth became like cotton,…my ears as sharp as a bat detecting the action & sound of a gun-bolt long before my eyes gazed upon the flash,…my breath intermittent and muted,…my eyes as keen as a hawk that has zoned in on its prey (my parents) and yet my feet and some part of my mind were rapidly frozen without my willful choice,…like an opossum or mouse trying to avoid the clutches of instant death. In all this foolishness at it’s best,…I discovered abandonment. Stigma is really societies way of “abandoning” anyone for any reason. My parents abandoned good judgement, me, themselves and worst of all,…my mind abandoned my physical body and got stuck behind the curtain(PTSD),…or more of a feeling of existing somewhere in between. The “in between” feeling is what I call “Living A Strange Death”,…an eery state of being both [present] and simultaneously [absent] with full unrelenting awareness of both. I call these moments [freeze-ups] and they got me in trouble with my grade school teachers all the time for so-called “Day Dreaming”, it hurt to be accused of not paying attention over and over again and I didn’t understand why my body continued to dissociate(clinical term for freeze-ups). As a child & adult,….these freeze-ups randomly happen all the time while doing just about anything such as taking a test, driving a car or installing rivets on an aircraft which scared the mess out of me while behind the wheel or holding a rivet gun at full blast; nevertheless, I was able to maintain composure somehow. For me,…PTSD is often times so silently horrifying that I often wonder what the hell might have happened to Edgar Allen Poe,…the master of fictional horror tales minus the blood & gore. Edgar Allen Poe explored this theme of being stuck between two worlds (a world of the living & a world of the dead) in the tale of “Mr. Valdemar, (1845)”. The idea / condition of being stuck between two vivid states of mind sounds weird and impossible and yet I have painfully lived it for 40 years and still don’t fully understand the phenomenon. Ironically my own experience of existing in my body that will not / would not function properly no matter what thoughts I commanded,…drove me mad and to the brink of suicide years ago. Similarly,…being stuck in a lifeless rotting corps tormented Mr. Valdemar in Poe’s tale.

Behind the PTSD curtain you will often find interesting, intelligent, compassionate, creative, spiritual / religious, non-religious, accomplished, socially upstanding, socially competent, kind-hearted, Uncles, Dads, Moms, Brothers, Sisters, Sons, Daughters, Aunts, Husbands, Wives, Significant Others, Neighbors, a few Ass-Holes and Capable Individuals much like I think of myself…

What’s behind the curtain?,…choose to take a look,…you may be pleasantly surprised about what and who you discover.

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

It’s been almost two weeks since I completed my first “Reconnection” session and I can tell you that something is happening within my central nervous system. Although I still have a cognitive mind that seemingly chatters uncontrollably like a 100 monkeys in a tree,….my central-nervous system appears to have taken another step toward calming down. My 40 year affair with typical feelings of being high on adrenaline, seemingly 24/7,…coupled with near constant muscle tension and physical body alertness that feels as sharp as the sting of a thousand mosquitos descending on my skin all at once,…appears to have been influenced in a positive manner via my recent Reconnection treatments. I find it difficult to vividly explain the near instantaneously painful bio-chemical, physical, emotional and psychological reaction that takes place within my body; moreover, daily assaults by general stimulus that would be considered harmless are brutal to say the least. For me the extremes of the automatic reaction makes it very easy to distinguish a diminution of the symptoms in my case. Here’s why,…first imagine PTSD and it’s subsequent automatic symptoms as being the spillway gates fully open on a [dam]. Now,…after treatments imagine PTSD and its automatic symptoms as a common open-ended [garden hose] turned on full blast. That’s the way I’ve been feeling during the past few days after my treatments,…like the garden hose example. As if gradually during the past six years my nervous system’s “flood-gates” have been closing slowly,…little by little after being stuck in a wide open position for nearly 40 years,…now only opening as necessary in an automatically controlled reasonable manner that is in alignment with and dictated by environmental stimulus. Now keep in mind that I have previously done Eye-Movement-Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique or “Tapping”). Each seems to have furthered my progress toward symptom remission during the past six years and my recent [Reconnection] “treatments” appear to be positively adding to the mix. That’s six years of progressive remission accomplished in relative daily isolation compared to nearly forty years total time of living with this relentlessly uncontrolled crap (PTSD). Even though my newly functioning [sympathetic nervous system] and it’s more appropriate automatic reactions feel odd, uncomfortable and take some getting used to,…it’s needless to say that I’m getting a little pumped about the possibilities in my near future. My progress thus far has been accomplished in isolation with minimal social interaction and I continue to have a lot of ground to cover in my recovery process. My healing progress eventually has to be tested on [my terms],…through a protracted and gradual reduction in social isolation. I do consider that this phase requires extreme awareness, self-respect and discretionary choice,…even though I prefer “faster” results.

During the past two weeks I have completed three “Reconnection” sessions with Debora Wayne (www.healingwithdebora.com). she was trained by Dr. Eric Pearl (www.thereconnection.com) as a [Reconnective Healing Practitioner].

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

During the past week I have completed three “Reconnection” sessions with Debora Wayne (www.healingwithdebora.com). she was trained by Dr. Eric Pearl (www.thereconnection.com) as a [Reconnective Healing Practitioner]. I completed my third long distance session yesterday.

At this time I can definitely tell you that it did not make me sick or ill in any way. I did not get hypnotized to go rob a bank or any other potentially weird ideas and concerns that a person might have.

However I did feel extremely tired(physically & emotionally) after the first session that lasted about 45 minutes and I was extremely hungry for some reason. At this early stage of the Reconnective “treatment”,…all I can do is observe myself(thoughts, reactions, sleep, mood, ect.,.) daily as several weeks pass. Then and only then will I have a better idea or know if the sessions helped me and if the changes,…if any,…will remain.

I can tell you that I am extremely grateful for individuals such as Debora Wayne,…individuals that show-up in my life while choosing to be [help] rather than [hinderance]. Debora is a Woman who showed up in my life full of encouraging words and calling for me to rise up from [my] depths of dispar,…rather than uttering words of be-littlement as so many other individuals have chosen to do over the previous years. Even if these three “reconnection” sessions that I have completed do absolutely nothing to further my personal healing process,…Debora’s spirited efforts and words,…that have been backed-up by immediate action on her part,…will continue to serve as part of my healing process at the very least. In my opinion,…there is no substitute for the [spirited-power] of a Woman that believes in herself and encourages my abilities as a Man,…to heal,…and to be everything within my capabilities. Subsequently I win regardless of the potential out-come resulting from the [Reconnection] sessions.

How do you show-up for yourself on a daily basis…???

Do you choose to investigate offers of potential [Help]…?

Do you choose to [Help] yourself…?

Do you choose to [Hinder] yourself…?

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

As a result of my amorous flirtatious efforts with a fantastic and broadly attractive woman last week,…this week, I will be trying a cutting-edge healing method called “reconnection”. So in one sense,…I got a “date” with this woman who I knew nothing about when I flirted with her,…but not the kind of “date” that I had envisioned. To my surprise,…Debora did the rare thing by walking toward me rather than running away…!!! This wonderful individual that confidently offered to assist me is Debora Wayne (www.healingwithdebora.com) and she was trained by Dr. Eric Pearl as a [Reconnective Healing Practitioner]. The irony is that two months prior to all this happening, I was searching for this exact type person after watching the movie “The Living Matrix”. After discovering the unavailability of Adam (healer) who was featured in the movie, I had no other clues for locating another person with the ability to utilize this method until now. Talk about the “Law Of Attraction”, “Power Of Intention”, “Ask And It Is Given”, “As A Man Thinks So Shall He Become” and the list of sayings goes on and on back to the beginning of time. One very important point that I have learned to keep in mind once I put my attention on an idea,…be prepared to recognize and choose to allow it when it potentially shows up in “disguise“,…out of left field,…like Debora did.

Although I do not know what the outcome of my three sessions with Debora will be, I do know that during the past 20 years I have tried many different methods (pills of the legal type, sex, cognitive behavioral therapy, affirmations, read psychology books, had divining rods twirled around me, I did countless self-improvement workshops, EMDR therapy, The Holosync Solution, committed myself to a hospital psych-ward,…etc.). Some of these methods helped a little,…some were fun,…some were scary,…some were physically & emotionally painful,…some were down right amusing and some were a waste of time & money for me personally. I learned what would or wouldn’t work for [me],…thus my efforts were a fantastic success overall!

Below you will find a short bio on Dr. Eric Pearl who is featured in the movie “The Living Matrix”:

____________________________________________________________________

Dr. Eric Pearl

Internationally known healer Eric Pearl has appeared on countless television programs worldwide, spoken by invitation at the United Nations and presented to a full house at Madison Square Garden. His seminars have been featured in publications including The New York Times.

For more than a decade, before the onset of his unusual healing ability, Pearl ran a highly successful chiropractic practice. Suddenly, something changed. His patients told him that they felt his hands on them – even though he was not touching their bodies. For the first couple of months, his palms blistered and bled.

Then, patients began describing healings from cancers, AIDS-related diseases, epilepsy, chronic fatigue syndrome, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid and osteoarthritis, birth disfigurements, cerebral palsy and other serious afflictions.

The recoveries reported by Pearl’s patients are documented in six books, including his own international bestseller, “The Reconnection: Heal Others, Heal Yourself,” now in over 30 languages, Pearl travels the globe, teaching his healing techniques. To date, he has taught more than 40,000 Reconnective Healing Practitioners in more than 60 countries.

http://www.thereconnection.com

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

Recently a Lady on seniorpeoplemeet.com dating site asked me the following question:

She Said: How does PTSD show up in your life and how do you show up when it does?”

He Said: For me PTSD typically shows-up as a profoundly ridiculous, emasculating and often times painful specter of a teacher. I systematically show-up alone to do battle courageously within myself on levels I never knew existed within me. My experience of learning to understand the effects of PTSD on me,…has often times been like what I imagine the shock and horror of diving into an ocean while not knowing how to swim would be. Only another,…who has similarly seen the darkness,…and felt the cold horror of that kind of journey(Mental-Illness),…could ever understand. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually,…I continually dive deeper than a whale. I often see all kinds of seemingly odd “creatures” within the vast depths of my being-ness as a human,….and as a Man. I Repeatedly descend into the depths of dispar,….and rise to the surface of sanity again,…and again,…full of profound [knowledge] & [self-understanding],…this is how I show up,…each day,….bit by bit,….eager to taste a little sweetness in life.

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

National Suicide Prevention Life-Line 1-(800)273-Talk (8255)

EMDR Institute – Watsonville, CA 95077 (831)761-1040

Veterans Suicide Prevention Help-Line 1-(800)273-8255  (press 1)

 

Web – Sites:

1. http://helpguide.org

2. www.medicinenet.com

4http://nami.org

5. http://www.makersofmemories.org 

 

Therapy Methods:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

2. Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR)

3. Reconnection (http://www.thereconnection.com)

 

Books:

1. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) by Francine Shapiro & Margot Silk Forrest

2. Emotional Healing At Warp Speed (The Power Of EMDR) by David Grand, PH.D.

3. Self Matters (Creating Your Life From The Inside Out) by Phillip C. McGraw, PH.D.

4. Self Matters (Companion) by Phillip C. McGraw, PH.D.

5. The Four Agreements (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz

6. Wisdom Of The Ages (A Modern Master Brings Eternal Truths Into Everyday Life) by Wayne W. Dyer

7. The Age Of Miracles (Embracing The New Midlife) by Marianne Williamson

8. The Art Of Sexual Ecstasy (The Path Of Sacred Sexuality For Western Lovers) by Margot Anand

9. Wounded Boys Heroic Men (A Man’s Guide To Recovering From Child Abuse) Daniel Jay SonKin, PH.D.

 

Magazines:

1. Esperanza (Hope To Cope With Anxiety And Depression)

2. Science Of Mind (A Guide For Spiritual Living)

3. Spirituality & Health (The Soul / Body Connection)

 

CD / DVD:

1. Getting The Love You Want (A Guide For Couples) by Harville Hendrix, PH.D.

2. The Way Of The Superior Man (The Teaching Sessions) by David Deida

3. Spiritual-Cinema-Circle (provides up-lifting & thought-provoking independent films once per month) 1(800)280-8290

 

WorkShops:

1. TantraNova Institute, Chicago Illinois – Tantra

2. Margot Anand, California – Tantra

3. Carla Tara, California – Tantra

 

Notes:

The Tantra workshops were instrumental in helping me get back in tune with my feelings as a Man considering that Mental-Illness derailed my sense of Masculinity. The workshops also helped me to learn to meditate and breathe properly which can help calm anxiety.

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