“Growing Through Frustration”


"My Garden & Backyard"

"My Garden & Backyard"

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

Webster’s Dictionary gives one definition of frustrate: “prevent from fulfilling plans, hopes, etc.,”.

During the first 34 years of living with what I now know was / is Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder I had a lot of frustration. I felt like I was falling short in everything that I attempted to do from attending grade-school to college and everything in between that you can imagine. I felt so unheard, mis-understood, judged, labeled and lost in most areas of my life to say the least. Most of this time I had no idea of how to explain my feelings.

What did I do to overcome such frustrations???

The best I can tell you is that I simply grew through it. The feeling of frustration has never gone away for me to this very day but I amazingly have achieved many major goals, regardless of the constant frustration that I have experienced while living with a mental illness. When I stop and really take an honest assessment of my life at age 48,….It does not look exactly like I had planned,….not even close, but I do have a few things to show for my forty-eight years. Let me put this another way,…imagine that you and I are acorns sprouting beneath the ground. Now think of the [resistance of the dirt] as being “frustration” to the seedling as it inches its’ way through darkness,…toward day-light. Then it finally breaks through the surface and it still has a lot of growing to do. This is the way my life has been prior to and starting six years ago when I had a breakthrough with EMDR. The EMDR allowed me to breakthrough a type of darkness that I had lived with for many decades and I’m still growing. So the next time I or you feel frustrated,….think of the seedling that eventually grows into a 400 year old oak tree due to [persistence]. Take note of what you have achieved even if it was a little bit of self-care yesterday in the form of showering, eating and or getting the mail, etc.,…that’s what I did at times. Although the frustration may never go away, make like an acorn seedling and keep reaching for the breakthrough. Keep persistence as your constant companion and grow from the inside-out…..


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