“My Experience: What PTSD Feels Like…THE UP-SIDE”

05/22/2012

By Howard Lovely, Jr.

Recently a Lady on seniorpeoplemeet.com dating site asked me the following question:

She Said: How does PTSD show up in your life and how do you show up when it does?”

He Said: For me PTSD typically shows-up as a profoundly ridiculous, emasculating and often times painful specter of a teacher. I systematically show-up alone to do battle courageously within myself on levels I never knew existed within me. My experience of learning to understand the effects of PTSD on me,…has often times been like what I imagine the shock and horror of diving into an ocean while not knowing how to swim would be. Only another,…who has similarly seen the darkness,…and felt the cold horror of that kind of journey(Mental-Illness),…could ever understand. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually,…I continually dive deeper than a whale. I often see all kinds of seemingly odd “creatures” within the vast depths of my being-ness as a human,….and as a Man. I Repeatedly descend into the depths of dispar,….and rise to the surface of sanity again,…and again,…full of profound [knowledge] & [self-understanding],…this is how I show up,…each day,….bit by bit,….eager to taste a little sweetness in life.

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