Expecting More Hurt From Past Hurt


I’m blogging from the road somewhere north of the Canadian boarder in route back to the US. This insight just came to me around 4:30am on the heals of ending my relationship of 1.5 years,…as I slept on the road side,…opened my eyes and almost immediately saw a shooting star that was framed by my car window. The following are my thoughts on the subject of begining a relationship by expecting a “non-cheater ” to become a “cheater”.

It is the mistress inside you that is who you fear will take your current Man from you.

Her name is “Fear”…

Her name is “Pain”…

Her name is  “insecurity”…

Her name is “Past Betrayal”…

Actually,… this “mistress” has many names & forms for Men and Women.

Yes,….your monogamous Man has an intimate relationship with her for sure! However,…this fact exists only because the mistress that you fear,…dwells within you,…as your thoughts,…of [past hurt / betrayal]. You then choose to lay her (mistress) at the feet of your Man and demand that he get rid of her. Consider choosing to rid [yourself] of [your] personal-intimate-affair with his ghost-mistress that you conjured up in your mind,…and she will vanish. Until this is accomplished,…your fears  will never allow you to be commited to him or the relationship while simultaneously levying the charge of non-commitment upon him in the form of “you might cheat”.

In conclusion,…I realize this all identifies you as being the cheater,…that is to say,….you cheated me and yourself out of wonderful opportunity.

Now that I have chosen to leave the relationship as an self aware Man,…the mistress still belongs to you,… as I leave you both behind.

Howard Lovely, Jr.

8 Responses to “Expecting More Hurt From Past Hurt”

  1. Almeda King said


    Sorry to read that things did not work out. I was thinking of you this morning and wanted to wish you a happy Veterans Day. I hope your day goes well. Be blessed and know that you are loved.


    • Hey There Mimi,….
      Thanks for the well-wishes.
      I’m saddened of course.
      She is a good Woman all around,…foibles and all.
      One item(mistress) needed a little tweeking as to not be so consumming. Not removal,…just a little adjustment was needed that did not happen after couple coaching several months ago.
      I’m deeply disappointed.
      I trust that my ramblings / blog post made some sense.


  2. Right, happy Veteran’s day. Wishing you the best

  3. Theresa Cretella said

    How beautiful Sance. I’m sorry for your pain, but happy for your awareness. Sending you love and hugs! Tree

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