Howard Lovely, Jr.
Personal Life Coach
(Specializing In Helping You Function Well And Achieve Personal Goals,… While Living With Anxiety)
RockSolidPotential-Life-Coaching, LLC

 

Howard Lovely, Jr.                                                                                                                Real Estate Investor (Specializing In Residential Rentals and Acquisition)          LovelyRealEstateInvestments, LLC   

 

My personality is pragmatic at the core with a healthy dose of “adventurous-ness” from time to time. I have painfully completed two careers(military & civilian). At this time in my life, both commitment & communication are worth more than my weight in gold.
I enjoy vegetable gardening as a hobby and will post photos of 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2014.
I enjoy writing, reading(Science of Mind magazine, Spirituality & Health magazine, metaphysical and psychology books). I do enjoy weekend get-a-ways when I have the extra money to spend. Otherwise [creative] and [inexpensive] day trips are just fine.

What I’ve learned so far is that each person has to learn to become their own best friend. Then and only then can the individual approach the world at his or her potential best authentically. For a long time,….I didn’t know how to be my best friend, to be a little self-ish in a good way.

By most standards today,…I grew-up in a violent Domestic Abusive home environment in which the extended family and neighbors were aware of, yet did nothing to remove me from harms way, yet they all ran and protected themself. There was gun and knife “play” from the age 8 until I ran for the military in 1985 at age 21. I felt odd at an early age shortly after a major incident occured at age 8 in the summer of 1972 but I had no clue as to the extent of the internal damage that had been inflicted upon my young mind and sympathetic nervous system. I had no understanding of the venonmous invisible toxin, that had been injected into my body via Domestic Violence perpetrated by my parents, who were & would ordinarily be considered decent people.

Many turmoiltous years later,…to both my and my therapist’s surprise, I graduated from college in 1998 with a degree in Aeronautical Technology A.A.S.; Aviation Maintenance Certificate; inducted into Phi Theta Kappa international honor society of community colleges; National Dean’s List 1996-98 and earned the coveted FAA Airframe & Powerplant Mechanic License.

All the above mentioned endeavors were painfully accomplished under the oppressive specter of what I did not know was PTSD, Phobia and Anxiety all jumbled up together since age 8. I was taking anti-psychotic medication that was not working for me, seeing a therapist, five years off a suicide attempt and three years off my most recent inpatient Psych-ward visit for two weeks in 1995.

It is my sincerest desire to share these details with all of you to illustrate my often times despicable, funny, frustrating, challenging and triumphant personal journey into,…and,…eventual beginning of recovery from mental illness. These details will give you a backdrop from wich to understand the multiple personal subject matter that I will discuss in the up coming weeks.

A long the way of my latest endeaver…..I look forward to helping myself, others of all ages and potentially gaining one or two friends. I invite any and all of the estimated *43 million individuals that identify with what I have said and am about to say / post at least once per month.

Howard Lovely Jr.

Personal Life Coach
(Specializing In Helping You Function Well And Achieve Personal Goals,… While Living With Anxiety)
RockSolidPotential-Life-Coaching, LLC
email: RockSolidPotentialLifeCoaching@gmail.com

10 Responses to “About”

  1. Marie said

    Hi Howard

    this is similar to what i experience also, however, my PTSD
    is from something else and it is hard to deal with. you are right about becoming your own best friend….that is something many people do not realize they need to learn to carry on in their lives. you and are fortunate that we have done that. also, with you doing this blog, it will help a lot of people understand what you and they are going through and maybe someone has done something different to help themselves you never thought of and you have done a lot to help yourself, and many people probably have not done what you have done to help yourself. meditation is great and i also do photography, reflexology and energy techniques to help myself along with HeartMath, which is very helpful..there are so many things for someone to learn to help themselves with. marie

    • Hi Marie,….

      Thanks for your input on this issue…
      You’re absolutely correct in saying that there are many different methods that may help one individual but not the other person. So it is important, yet often times frustrating to keep trying different methods or combination of methods. It has been for me to say the least. Individuals respond differently to medication, talk therapy,..etc. for some reason.
      Anti-Psychotic drugs never worked for me years ago and gave me disruptive side affects such as: drozyness, involuntary muscle spasms (tardive-disconeshia) wich involved my mouth / tongue and abdominal muscles; however, the anti-depressants that I took at the time were effect in terms of lessening my depression. People would ask me if I was about to say something because they would notice my mouth open suddenely,…I felt so embarrassed and learned to lie by simply saying “oh nothing” or “no”. This is a cuationary note to remember to read the side-effects imformation that is usually given to an individual by the pharmacy when you pick-up medication. Being familiar with side-effects of your particular medication can help you notice if you start experiencing any and then you can consult your Pharmacist & Therapist.

      Howard Lovely, Jr.

  2. gadflygirl said

    Howard, congratulations on your courageous and articulate blog. As well, congratulations on still being here. I have a refrigerator magnet with a saying attributed to “Unknown Viet Nam Marine.” It says, “Courage is endurance for one more moment.” As with many quotations, I’m sure others have said it, too. Said by anyone, it is apt for your blog.

    Ours is the road less traveled in terms of consciousness and awareness. That’s not a boast. To stay alive and be at all well, this is what has been, and still is, required of us.

    So many people in Western society are walking wounded, emotionally and psychologically–but they don’t know it. It’s additionally tragic that they don’t know it.

    Carrie Fisher walks proudly and sardonically among us. She is the author of “Wishful Drinking,” “Shockaholic,” and “Postcards from the Edge,” among others. She is also an actress. Most know her as Princess Leia. It’s kind of a shame, because her contributions are so vast.

    “Wishful Drinking” was written based on her one-woman Broadway show. She also performed it for HBO. For 76 painfully hilarious and hilariously painful minutes, she laid herself and her family (parents Debbie Reynolds and father Eddie Fisher) out there for all the world to see, come what may.

    One of my fave quotations of Carrie Fisher’s is, “I feel I’m very sane about how crazy I am.” “Crazy,” of course, is a fond colloquialism in this context, and is in no way meant in a clinical sense.

    But enough about others. I am savoring your initial posts. I am looking forward to more.

    Namaste,

    Jane

    • Hi Jane,….
      Thank you for joining this forum / Blog and for all your comments. I remember Carrier Fisher from one of my favorite movies(When Harry Met Sally).

      Yes it takes a boat load of courage to recover from or live with Mental Illness. This is an extremely important point that I have learned as a Man faced with such demons as feelings of Shame and Emasculation. Some individuals take up the challenge and others, for some reason, remain steeped in and shackled by chains comprised of Shame, Guilt, Fear, Emasculating feeling and embarrasement to name a few; moreover, I too was once bound by many of these same growth stifling emotional chains. These “stuck” individuals are the ones that I endeavor to support the most by showing them that they are not alone eventhough it may feel like it at times,…actually most times in my personal experience. Which is another reason why I’ve started this Blog,….that is to say,…to not feel so alone,….to reach out to others in support of my recover and theirs.
      Your participation in this Blog is an imminent support.

      Howard Lovely, Jr.

  3. Marie said

    hi howard
    i heard that EMDR or something similar to that which focuses on rapid eye movement and Emotion Focus Therapy is supposed to be really good. however…it costs so much money without a plan. i really want to try them.

    • Hi Marie,…
      Keep in mind that many therapist have sliding scales in terms of monetary fees charged to clients on a case by case basis. I encourage you to stick with a Can-Do-Attitude and ask for what you desire regardless of your current monetary means. The worse that can happen is that you will be told “no” by the therapist,..but if you don’t ask for what you want,…[you will give yourself an automatic “NO”] and skip right past the possibility of a “yes”.
      I’ve been there too,..that is to say,…I’ve been told “no” also for lack of health insurance back in 1994 when I was depressed, suicidal again and only two years fresh off my previous suicide attempt. I needed help and support badly and My Aunt “M” and the reverend “S” at the church I had been attending were both so worried about me at that time, as a matter of fact, it was the minister that located the therapist that turned me away because I did not have health insurance.

      Here is a resource that may help you find a clinitian / therapist in Canada that is trained in EMDR,…my therapist that treated me was trained by this institute which was founded by Dr. Francine Shapiro(discovered EMDR):

      EMDR Institute
      Watsonville, Ca 95077
      (831)761-1040
      http://www.emdr.com

      Howard Lovely, Jr.

  4. Marie said

    i liked what jane had to say. she is right. people are not in the now and are not conscious……however…more people are taking that journey as it becomes more prominent in society….slowly but surely

    • Hi Marie,….

      Yes,…for many reasons individuals get stuck.
      Fear, shame, guilt, anger, frustration, lack of support, depression,…etc.,..are all potential reasons that individuals may have weigh them down in “stucktown”. I [existed] like that for many years leading up to my suicide attempt in 1991. After that point,….I had to [choose] to be honest with myself first and formost about every aspect of my life. When I felt frustrated,…I learned to simply acknowledged my frustration. Not fix it. When I felt fear I acknowledged it also and so on and so on. This was difficult at first,…but a critical first step for [me] to move past being stuck and realy start to build momentum in a forward direction toward a better quality of life.

      Howard Lovely, Jr.

  5. howard, i am absolutely floored! the books are wonderful and actually when i read them i realized that they are exactly the sort of books the children who will receive them need! but i wish you were coming to the party because i would really really love to meet you! much thanks, much appreciation, and much love from winnetka!

    • Hi Arlynn,….

      You & the children are welcome and I trust that the books will be helpful to the children that get them.
      I must admit that I’ve never read those childrens’ books; however, I do trust Dr. Wayne Dyer because he has helped me as an adult Male since I discovered him years ago in 1998 on a late night PBS fundraiser.
      FYI,…Marrianne Williamson will be in Chicago sometime in June and if I can put together the funds for senior check-up & kennel care for my Gracie, airfare, workshop fee,…etc.,….I may be on a challenging major adventure myself for the first time in a good while,…about four years to be exact since I last tested my recovery process in a major way envolving air travel.
      No guarantees here,…..just a heads-up on a potential visit to Chicago.
      Should I be “able” to attend the workshop, I will definately be able to stay at my dear friend Yvonns’ house located in the Kelvyn-Park Neighborhood to cut financial costs.

      Have a great weekend,.. 🙂

      Howard

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